


His Voice

by iknowanicegirl



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Drama, JJP stuffs happening, Jackson is loud and nosy, Jinyoung doesn't know why, Love/Hate, M/M, Mark hates jinyoung, Romance, Smut, Top Jinyoung although I'm not sure why I decided on this, Yugbam has something, but MORE markjin stuffs will happen, only Youngjae is straight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-01-23 21:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18558211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowanicegirl/pseuds/iknowanicegirl
Summary: Jinyoung auditioned to be the new vocalist of a local band. For some reason, the band's drummer, Mark, seems to hate him. Jinyoung did get the position, only to have Mark warn him, “I'll make your life hell."Based on a prompt by: @markjintweets <3





	1. "Hell"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He y'all. First chapter is up and posted! :))))
> 
> Note: I already posted this in aff by the way. If y'all still confused, i do write in aff under the name 'nicapark' :)

_**Jinyoung**_ woke up in the middle the night. He let his hand brush along his disheveled hair.

 

Maybe it's his anxiousness taking over him. He's been appointed by his dad as the CEO of Park Enterprises. If he's gonna be honest, it's a big responsibilty to put on the shoulders of a twenty three year old man, and that would be him.

He doesn't know anymore. It just feels like his whole life is laid in front of him and he doesn't have the right to say no or to even fight for the things which he really wants. 

Ever since he was a kid, his heart always belonged to music. He's in love with it. But his dad is not one to support him, sadly. Jinyoung had a talk with his dad about his passion, for a couple of times already, but his dad is firm with his decision. _You're made to do this, son. You're born for this, leading our company and our people_. He could hear his dad's exact words.

His decision is final. His dad already made it clear by now. 

 

Jinyoung sighed as he gazed over the city lights around them. Incheon at night, is such a stunning view.

"Hey hon..." He felt a kiss on his bare shoulder. "What kept you up?"

"Just, nothing." 

Jaebum sat up beside him and hugged him lazily. Jinyoung smiled back as he leaned back on his boyfriend's bare chest. He always loved his warmth. It's the kind of warmth which reminds him that things are still yet to get better.

He loves Jaebum so much. And he can't thank him enough for loving him back.

 

"I doubt that it's nothing." Jaebum's arms wrapped around his waist and Jinyoung can feel him pouting on his shoulder.

Jinyoung giggled and turned to kiss his boyfriend's cheek.

"I'm just thinking of a way to change my dad's mind."

He heard Jaebum's low grunt. "Hon, you just have to listen to him. Your dad knows what is best for you."

Jinyoung completely faced Jaebum while holding his hands. "But hon, you know what I really want. I don't think I am fitted for this. You know how much I love music!"

"Jinyoung." Jaebum said in all seriousness and concern. "Your dad just don't want to lose you again. He already lost your mom. Of course he won't want to lose you too. Even I don't want that. I don't want to lose you."

That made Jinyoung sigh. Whenever Jaebum is acting like this, his heart tends to melt. 

"Okay. Okay then, hon." He reached for the older's cheek and caressed it gently. "I won't go anywhere. You won't lose me. I promise."

He sealed his promise with a kiss, and Jaebum tilted his head allowing the younger to deepen the kiss more.

Jinyoung could only smile contentedly against Jaebum's lips as he slowly lay the older on their bed.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung just finished taking a shower and is currently drying his hair with a towel.

He glanced over his sexy boyfriend who is doing something on his phone, with the blanket still covering his body from his torso, down.

Jaebum's brow shot up when he caught him staring. "What are you staring at?"

A lopsided smile played on Jinyoung's lips as he decided to tease the other.

"Hon, I already saw everything underneath that blanket." He winked. "No need to be coy."

That's when a flying pillow hit Jinyoung's face, making him laugh.

"You creep!"

The younger kept on laughing. Teasing his boyfriend has become one of his top hobbies.

Without saying anything, Jaebum stood right up, letting the white blanket slip off his body. Jinyoung's eyes widened, obviously surprised. His boyfriend is walking in all his naked glory, for pete's sake! His heart has the right to beat a thousand times faster now.

And his member is reacting just as same.

 

"Oh? What's the matter?" Jaebum is smirking while draping a towel around his hips. "I thought you already saw everything?" He walked over to the younger and closed his mouth which fell open. "Close it hon. You might catch flies."

That did it for Jinyoung. It's a rare occasion that Jaebum succeeds on teasing him. And this is one of those times.

He pulled Jaebum who's about to enter the bathroom and tickle tortured him. He knows his boyfriend's weakness. He has the upper hand.

"Hey, stop!" Jaebum wriggled off his arms and put his hand on the younger's chest, stopping him. "I have work, Mr. CEO."

And Jinyoung could only pout, totally disappointed and frustrated. Damn, he was really turned on. 

Shaking his head, he started to put on his prepared clothes.

"Hon, have you finished packing?" Jaebum asked from the bathroom. 

 

Before claiming his position as the new CEO, Jinyoung asked his dad to let him have an indefinite leave. He wants to enjoy his remaining time as a free man before drowning himself with work. Luckily, his dad approved of it. He gave him a time off.

 

"Yeah, already did!" he answered.

His boyfriend then peeked his head from the bathroom. "I was wondering, can I come with you?"

Jinyoung smiled at him. "All the way to L.A.? Then be my guest."

Jaebum laughed and threw his towel at the younger's face. "No, silly. Only to the airport."

He just smiled again.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Los Angeles.

The minute he arrived, Jinyoung breathed in the warm and fresh air. For the first time, he felt free.

 

After a day of driving around, he decided to drink. He drinks out alone. Even back in Seoul, he drinks out on his own. Sometimes if Jaebum isn't busy with his patients, he also goes out with him.

He was on his seventh drink when a guy sat on a stool beside him. The said guy ordered a martini and raised his glass to greet him. Jinyoung did the same thing.

He stared at the guy who has dark brown hair, and big round eyes. These were enough to tell him that the guy is Asian and not a local. Just then he heard the guy's phone ring.

 

"Yeah, you heard it right." Jinyoung heard the guy. And he's surprised when he heard him talking in korean. "Then let's look for another vocalist, come on Mark! What's done is done." He saw as the guy scratched his head. "I know it's my fault but, he clearly doesn't care about the band to leave us like that!" 

And yes, Jinyoung is still listening. God. Maybe he should really get a life.

"I'll go look for someone, I promise!" The guy suddenly put the phone away from his hear. He probably just got shouted at. "Oh, fck."

 

Jinyoung just shrugged when the guy turned to him. "Nothing that a good drink can't fix, right?" 

"Oh! You're korean?" The guy asked after hearing him speak in his native language and Jinyoung only nodded. 

"You too?"

"No, I'm actually chinese but, I grew up in Korea." 

Jinyoung nodded once again. "Uhm, if you don't mind me asking, what was that phonecall about? You seemed troubled."

The guy sighed exasperatedly. "I'm in a band. The one who called earlier is Mark, he's the drummer. He's infuriatingly mad at me because I kind of messed up. And because of that mess, we lost our vocalist. So yeah.. I accept all his rage."

"You're in a band?" after all those, it's the only thing which registered on Jinyoung's mind. "Uhm, I'm Jinyoung, by the way."

"I'm Jackson. Bassist of _The Isolated_." He leaned it to whisper. "Our band's name sounds cool, isn't it?"

Jinyoung gave him a thumbs up. "So, you're looking for someone to be your band's new vocalist?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll be dead if I don't find someone by Saturday. We have a gig, and boy! Mark is really going to kill me!"

 

Jinyoung finds himself smiling. He wasn't even looking for it, but his dream seems to have found him. 

"Uhm... Can I perhaps audition or something?"

Jackson's eyes got bigger. "You sing?"

Jinyoung smiled shyly. "Uh... I guess you could try me."

Jackson eyed him as if he's studying him, trying to weigh if Jinyoung is serious or just fcking with him.

 

"Alright! Alright!" Jackson snapped his fingers. "Tomorrow. Graffiti. 9pm." He pointed his finger at Jinyoung. "Don't be late, or we're both screwed."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung arrived at the bar twenty minutes earlier. He saw Jackson along with some guys who he thinks were his bandmates. They are setting up their instruments.

Jinyoung felt nervous for a short bit. Then he heard his phone ring. It's Jaebum.

 

"Hon, how was your day?" 

He smiled as he heard his boyfriend's voice. "It went just fine actually. I miss you."

"Oh please. You don't miss me as much as I miss you."

"Well that's debatable." Jinyoung saw Jackson waving his hand at him. He waved back before turning around and focusing on talking to Jaebum.

"Whatever." he could see his boyfriend rolling his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm drinking the night away."

"Hon, please limit your alcohol intake okay? Be a good boy."

Jinyoung just laughed and said goodbye before ending the call.

 

"Was that your girlfriend?" Jackson who's already beside him, asked.

Jinyoung smirked as he kept his phone. "Boyfriend."

Jackson acted like he's surprised. This got Jinyoung laughing. He's pretty sure Jackson picked up on his sexuality the moment they started talking.

"I'm just happy that we're swinging the same way." and now it's Jinyoung's turn to act surprised.

"Come on and get your ass on the stage. You still need to show us what you got."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"We don't need him."

Said the drummer, _Mark_ was it? in straight English as he walked towards the walk in closet which the band has in their dressing room.

 

Jinyoung just finished showing off his singing skills to the whole band after singing along to a few of their songs.

He guessed it was safe to say that he's done quite a good job, considering Jackson cheered after they performed saying _"I'm off the hook!"_ , and the other members seemed impressed too.

 

"Come on, Mark! We need a vocalist, right? And you all heard how great he was! Come on!"

But apparently, there's someone who isn't amused by his skills, or him as a person.

 

Jackson kept on talking in English too, as he followed Mark to the closet.

The tall guy with black mushroom like hair turned to Jinyoung. "Don't worry. Hyung will warm up to you." 

Jinyoung smiled. "You're korean?" Although the guitarist spoke in English, the fact that he said hyung oughts to tell Jinyoung that the guy is Korean.

"Yeah. You too?" he asked in korean now. Jinyoung nodded. "Cool! I'm Yugyeom."

"Hey man, it's Bambam." The skinny guy with red hair lend his hand out. "I'm Thai, but I also speak Korean."

"I'm Jinyoung." He introduced himself.

 

"Can you please listen, Tuan? You're fucking mad that I made Wonpil quit this band. And now that I found a replacement, and a good one, you're acting like a complete shit? What's wrong with you?!"

Jackson still ain't giving up.

"Listen Jackson. In the first place, it's your fucking fault why we lost our vocalist. If you didn't cheat on him with some random dude, Wonpil would've still been in the band."

Harsh. 

That's Jinyoung's first impression on him. Unlike his way of singing when he's backing up the vocalist, up close the drummer seems like a cold and distant person.

 

"I know that, you don't need to remind me, thank you very much." Jackson rolled his eyes at the drummer. "That's why I'm fixing my mess! And now, we have an angel disguised in the form of Jinyoung." Jackson pointed at him. "Mark, just give the guy a chance! If I have to be honest, he's so much better than Wonpil!"

Jinyoung just stood there, watching frustrated Jackson become more frustrated. Just then, the drummer, Mark was standing in front of him and looking at him. Mark turned to frown at Jackson, then looked at Jinyoung again, his eyes were impassive and cold this time.

Something pushed Jinyoung to say something. It could be the way Mark is looking at him now.

"I can sing any song." He almost stuttered. "I can also play the piano. And a guitar."

The latter crossed his arms. "We just need a vocalist." then he walked past him, and straight back to the closet. Jinyoung averted his eyes when the drummer took off his shirt.

 

Okay. Another impression he has for the drummer, never minding.

"You'll get used to it." Jackson whispered beside him.

Get used to what? To Mark being harsh or to Mark suddenly taking his clothes off? So Jackson is already used to seeing Mark naked? He meant, without a top. Not _naked_ naked. 

Or is he?

 

"Mark, hyung." The guy with a hat spoke. He's the other vocalist who also plays the keyboard. "We have a gig this Saturday. We need a vocalist because I can't possibly sing all our songs while also playing the keyboard. I'm just a back up vocal, not the main. Come on, hyung. We need him."

That made Mark turn. He's now wearing a black shirt. 

"Right, Youngjae." Mark said.

Okay. Jinyoung got all their names. Jackson, Mark, Yugyeom, Bambam and Youngjae.

 

Mark is again in front of him, still studying him and to be honest, it's tensing him up.

"Why don't we vote?" Jackson suggested. "Raise your hand if you want Jinyoung in the band." All four of them raised their hands which made Mark roll his eyes. "See, Mark? You have to listen to the majority!"

 

"Whatever, Wang." Mark hissed before inching closer to Jinyoung. "You...do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

He almost gulped. But he responded. "Yes, I do. I really want to be a part of your band."

The drummer's brow shot up, his smile is far from being a happy one, nor a sincere one.

"Alright then."

Mark turned to get his jacket on the couch next to Bambam.

"I'm in?" Jinyoung asked and the rest gave him a thumbs up. "Thank you. Thank you, Mark. I promise to do a good job."

 

"Ooh, don't thank me." Mark was about to pass by Jinyoung but before he did, he looked at Jinyoung. And the kind of look he's giving is enough to send shivers down Jinyoung's spine.

 

"I'll make your life hell."


	2. "Bitter Sweet"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I'm back! :)))

"Is he usually like that?"

_**Jinyoung**_ asked the four remaining guys as soon as Mark has left.

 

_I'll make your life hell_? What was that supposed to mean? Jinyoung is wondering if he'll take it seriously. But the way the drummer has looked at him, well it doesn't seem to settle on him. Something in those brown eyes, felt a bit disarming. 

_What did I even do to him?_ He keeps on thinking.

 

"Oh don't worry, Jinyoung!" Jackson rested his arm around the younger's shoulder. "Like what I said, you'll get used to it."

Jinyoung's brows furrowed. "To what, exactly?"

The chinese shrugged. "To Mark's shits." He answered casually. "I've known him for five years and look . . . . . hmm. Actually I don't think anyone can get used to that menopausal gangster!"

"Jackson hyung, you'll be dead if Mark hyung knows about what you're saying right now." Yugyeom said, eyeing the older.

"But I won't, because you won't tell him. Not unless you want me to tell him what happens in your bedroom every night-"

"YAH!" Bambam shouted as he threw a face towel at Jackson. "Keep your mouth shut."

And Jackson did. But his round eyes kept on giving a knowing look to the two youngest who were sitting beside each other on the couch.

 

"Anyway... shouldn't we be heading home? Am I the only one who is dreading to lie on his bed?" 

They all looked at Youngjae who really looks exhausted.

"Right! Let's head to the apartment!" Jackson sat up before turning to him. "How about you, Jinyoung? Where do you stay anyway?"

"Me? Well, just around the area." Jinyoung can't say that he's staying in this five star hotel, most certainly not about him about to run a company of his own. "Just a small apartment." He's not sure whether he needs to, but he just felt like hiding his real status in life.

"We own an apartment too. We've been living there for three years now." said Yugyeom.

"Why don't you come with us? Now that you're one of us, I think it'll be better if you stay at our place too." 

Jinyoung was surprised by Jackson's invitation. Live with them? But that means he'll also live with...

"But we need to ask Mark hyung first." Bambam reminded them.

"Oh right." Jackson flicked his tongue as if he's thinking of something. "Well maybe we'll talk about this some other time. But for now, just go with us at our place. We can go and have a drink there. Kind of a welcoming party for you, our new vocalist."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung wasn't able to say no to Jackson. Youngjae told him that Jackson really has that in him, the charm to make someone say yes to him.

They all went to the apartment owned by the guys. Since Jinyoung has a car, he opted to volunteer on driving theirselves to the place. Jackson can't stop talking about Jinyoung being rich just because he has a car. _If he only knew..._

"We've been working our asses of for three years now, but only Mark has a car among all of us." 

"That's because you spend your money on other stuffs, Jackson hyung!" Yugyeom pointed out.

 

They reached the place and Jinyoung could only roll his eyes at how Jackson poorly described it. 

First, it's not just an apartment, but an upscale, and completely furnished apartment. This is not what Jinyoung had in mind when Jackson was talking about it during their car ride!

 

_**Olympic by Windsor** _

 

Jinyoung could only hit Jackson on the chest as he read. _God_. These guys are living in a luxury apartment. That could only mean that their band is no joke.

 

As they entered the door to their owned unit, Jackson was already bluffing. "Welcome to the suite life."

"Asshole." Jinyoung sneered at him before entering.

 

He's not really overwhelmed by the looks of the place the guys were staying at. To be honest, the hotel he's staying at was even more in the high class, but Jinyoung didn't expect this. He thought **The Isolated** was just a local band playing here and there. He didn't expect that they were actually quite known, the place they're staying at is enough to tell him that. 

Jinyoung feels elated. It is now sinking in his mind. He's in. He's in one of L.A.'s known local bands. How sweet was that?

 

The guys toured him around, the three of them. Youngjae excused himself and said that he was very tired because he didn't get enough sleep last night. "Overwatch." Jackson whispered to him but Jinyoung didn't quite get that. He just smiled at the pianist saying it's okay and they can catch up some other time.

The band seemed to own a larger suit, it has the capacity of three units. It has four bedrooms. Only Mark and Youngjae has their own room. Yugyeom and Bambam shares a room together. Jinyoung doesn't know why Jackson just winked after saying that.

"If you decide to move in with us, you can room with me. Since, I now have the room all to myself."

"Because you're a cheater!"

"Quiet you, chopstick!" Jackson yelled back at Bambam. "So as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted... you can room with me, Jinyoung."

Jinyoung scratched the back of his head, still unsure of how to digest that idea. "Uhm... But you said we need to ask Mark first, right?"

"Yeah. We can ask him later when he arrives." Jackson shrugged.

Of course. Jinyoung can't wait alright.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung should've gotten himself drunk. 

 

After the grand tour, they decided _~~much to Jackson's wanting~~_ to go and drink. And after an hour or so, bottles of Bacardi and Jack Daniel's were rolling on the floor.

They were only meant to do some light drinking _(though Jinyoung doubted that as soon as he saw what Yugyeom and Bambam has bought)_ because they wanted to get to know Jinyoung more, as Jackson said. 

But when Jinyoung talked about his passion for music, especially singing, Jackson started to talk about Wonpil, who was the band's previous vocalist. The drunk Chinese kept on mumbling about how it wasn't his fault that he looked for somebody new. He was just lonely, he said. He felt taken for granted, he said. And it went on and on for half an hour more.

 

"It's not my fault, Jinyoung-ah. He should've taken care of me more. He should've-" 

Jinyoung can't understand anymore of what Jackson was saying. He just focused on dragging the bassist towards his bedroom. Yugyeom and Bambam already went to theirs, they stumbled on some of the furnitures but, they made it to their room.

Now Jinyoung's thinking...if he got himself drunk, he wouldn't have a hard time on minding Jackson. But now, since he's the sober one, he should take responsibility.

 

"Oh, fuck my back!" Jinyoung complained as soon as he had put Jackson on the bed. The man was heavy, alright. He might be taller, but Jackson is definitely bigger.

Being a good bandmate, Jinyoung took off Jackson's shoes, and covered him with the blanket. He left the room after making sure that Jackson is comfortable.

As much as Jinyoung wants to go back to his hotel, he's too tired. And he still drank. Maybe the guys won't mind if he crashed on their place.

 

Jinyoung sat on the couch, deciding that he'll be able to sleep comfortably on it.

He got his phone and checked the time. It's 4 am already, so it's probably 8pm in Seoul. He smiled before dialling his boyfriend's number. He's done with his shift for sure.

 

"Oh, hon? Hey!" Jinyoung smiled like a lovestruck idiot, just by hearing Jaebum's voice. "Why are you still awake?"

"Because I'm missing you." 

"I didn't sign up for this, Jinyoung." He just rolled his eyes. He knows Jaebum is smiling right now. "But yeah, I'm missing you too."

See? He's right.

"Are you home now?" 

"No, I just finished a surgery. But I'll be heading off soon."

He hummed. "Tell me about your day."

It's always been like this between the two of them. Despite their different line of work, him spending majority of his time in the company, and Jaebum working for ten long hours in the hospital, they still make it to a point that they get to talk with one another, about how their day went. What they did, what they didn't, how they felt. Everything. They talk about everything.

They've been together for almost four years now. And he can't see his life without Jaebum in it. He's his anchor. With him, he feels safe.

 

"As much as I want to talk to you longer, I think you need to get some shut eye, hon." 

Jinyoung sighed, obviously not wanting to end their conversation. "Okay then, I'll sleep."

"Good. Because I have work tomorrow too. Goodnight, hon."

Jinyoung smiled contentedly, closing his eyes, imagining his boyfriend right in front of him. "Goodnight, hon. I love you."

"And you know very well that I love you too."

 

After ending the call, Jinyoung was about to do just as what he said. But before he could even close his eyes, he heard someone opening the door.

He sat right up. It could be Mark. And why was he suddenly nervous?

 

He walked towards the door. It was already dark and the only light was coming from the kitchen. All Jinyoung can see is a shadow.

But then he heard a laugh, which sounded more throaty and guttural. "Fuck." was the next thing he heard.

Jinyoung halted and tried to make something out of the figure in the dark. Only it's not only a figure. There were actually two. 

 

They were walking towards the living room, where Jinyoung was. He could almost see them clearly, hands all over each other. Kissing.

He shouldn't have been surprised when he saw it was Mark. With some guy. He remembered Jackson revealing that only Youngjae was straight in their band. So that includes Mark, of course.

But still, seeing Mark, torridly kissing a guy, somehow left him strucked.

 

Just then, Mark's eyes flew open and met Jinyoung's wide ones. 

"Jesus." The drummer muttered while pushing the guy off of him. "What are you doing here?"

"S-sorry... I didn't mean to-"

"Just answer my question." Mark said, cutting him off.

Jinyoung swallowed the lump on his throat before speaking. "Jackson invited me."

He saw how the older sighed exasperatedly, like he's so done with his bandmate. "I'll deal with that shithead later." Mark said before tugging on the guy he was kissing a while ago.

They went inside the room, which is probably Mark's, but before Jinyoung could recover, Mark opened the door and is now glaring at him.

"I do hope to get some privacy."

Jinyoung raised his hands up, telling the drummer that he's cool with it, and there's nothing to worry.

Without another word, Mark closed the door and after a minute, all Jinyoung could hear were moans.

 

Another impression: _He's hot._

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung was the first one to wake up.

Well that's if he even got a chance to sleep. It took a couple of hours before the whole unit was finally in peace. But his mind seemed to repeat everything that he has heard. Mark really is something.

 

He shook off his thoughts as he prepared breakfast for the guys. They probably have hangover, so he's doing them a favor.

He was in the middle of cooking when Mark's bedroom door opened. Then he saw the drummer, walking with just his boxers on.

Jinyoung averted his gaze, silently asking himself why he's acting like a virgin. He's seen Jaebum naked hundred of times already. How's Mark in boxers any different?

 

It was then when Mark took notice of him. He's ruffling his hair when he saw Jinyoung. "God. Why do you have to be here, anyway." Mark said before going back inside his room, returning after with a towel draped on his waist. 

The guy he took home last night was following behind him. "Uh, Mark?"

"Thanks for last night. You can find your way out."

Mark made his way to the bathroom without glancing back. That left Jinyoung with the guy. He looks like a local. His tan skin is enough proof.

"Hi. I'm Tyler." 

Jinyoung talked to the guy after offering him a cup of coffee. 

 

Minutes after, a newly showered Mark came to the kitchen. He was still glaring at Jinyoung but his expression turned more sour upon seeing Tyler.

"Why are you still here?" The words came out too sharp, in Jinyoung's opinion.

"I was waiting for you."

"Okay. Now I'm here. Can you leave?"

Jinyoung was silent. He doesn't want to be involved in this kind of conversation.

"Oh okay. But... Can I see you again?"

Mark sat by the kitchen counter and munched on an apple. "I'm afraid not. I have no time for that."

"But-"

"Tyler, I already told you I don’t do romance. I’m just not into those kind of shits. I thought I made it clear to you last night?"

Jinyoung wanted to disappear right now. He shouldn't be witnessing this scene.

The guy, Tyler tried to talk some more but Mark completely blocked him.

 

"What are you staring at?" Mark asked when they were left alone.

Jinyoung quickly took off his gaze from the drummer.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Their breakfast was composed of the six of them eating, while talking about their gigs. It dawned on Jinyoung that their band is really huge, since they have a hectic schedule, performing from one show to another.

While they were at it, Jackson decided to ask Mark about him moving in with the guys.

 

As usual, it raised an argument between Mark and Jackson. It seems that only Jackson has the guts to go against Mark. 

At the end, Mark just gave it to Jackson, saying he's tired arguing with a kid. Jackson didn't mind. He's just happy that he won the argument.

Jinyoung was happy too and was about to breathe a sigh of relief when Mark spoke.

 

"On one condition." This draw all their attention to the drummer. "You," he pointed at Jinyoung. "...will be taking orders from me, as I'm the leader. Whatever I say, you will do. Whatever I want, you will give. Take it as your initiation rights."

"But we didn't have that, hyung!"

"Oh I could give you one right now, Bam." and that's enough to silence the younger.

"What's this about, Tuan? You'll seriously give Jinyoung a hard time?" Jackson asked.

"It was you who said that we needed him, although I clearly said that we don't. Now I should see for myself if I really do need him. Seems fair, right?"

Mark is looking at him, waiting for his answer. But he couldn't give any.

 

"And besides, if he can't take it...the door is open. He could always leave."

 

And that maybe did it. Those words fueled Jinyoung's desire on getting and staying in this band.

 

Jinyoung matched Mark's eyes. "Okay. I'm up for it."

 

Life is not always sweet. Maybe this is the bitter part.


	3. "Befuddled"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aheeeey. I'm being such a slack. Sorry. :(((

"You seriously don't have to try so hard."

Jackson told him after sitting down on the stool by the kitchen counter.

_**Jinyoung**_ just finished cutting the whole onion and put it on top of the beef inside the pot.

 

"Jackson, I'm just cooking dinner." He said once more after adjusting the stove to a medium heat.

 

It's almost dinner time and since Jinyoung is already done fixing his things inside his newly shared room with Jackson, he decided to cook a nice dinner for all six of them.

He opted to cook seolleontang (ox bone soup), but of course fried kimchi is not off the menu. He also prepared bulgogi and japchae. He hopes to God that the guys will like it, _~~no one in particular, just everyone.~~_ Jinyoung's eyes darted towards the closed door across them. _Will he like it?_ He shrugged it off his head.

 

Jackson propped his elbow on the counter top and rested his chin on his hands. "But we often order food out. None of us cooks food, as in real food."

"What? No one can?" 

"Nah. Actually Bambam can, but we're just always too tired to do unimportant things like cooking."

Jinyoung could only snicker at what the bassist said. _Unimportant_ , he says.

"How about you?" He glanced at Jackson who's asking him something. "How did you learn how to cook?"

Jinyoung stirred the beef for a bit before answering.

 

"I was kind of forced to learn it." He casually said. "Jaebum just won't say yes to moving in with me unless he makes sure that I can feed him. He said he loves me but he most certainly not want to go starving." and he could only laugh at the memory. It took him almost six months on convincing Jaebum to move in with him.

Jinyoung found Jackson smiling while eating a bit of the kimchi he just cooked.

"Well, sounds to me that Jaebum is one smart guy. Stomach over heart. Wow." The older said after finishing a bite. He stopped eating before Jinyoung could remind him that the kimchi is for their dinner. "And it also sounds like you love him very much, correct me if I am wrong."

Jinyoung thinks his smile is enough to verify Jackson's statement.

 

"How long have you been together?" Jackson asked him.

"For almost four years, actually."

"Oh. That's quite a foundation you have. Why aren't you still getting married?" 

 

The question reminded Jinyoung of his pending responsibilities. He and Jaebum already talked about marriage. But taking over the company is his top set priority, as said by his father. Jaebum understands and agrees that it'll be best if they get married once the company is already stable on the palm of his hands.

 

"We have plans." He answered, not too far fetched from reality. "But not just yet. We're still busy in our own careers."

"What is your boyfriend's job anyway?"

"He's a surgeon." and that earned an impressed look from Jackson. Yeah, he's dating a surgeon. Sounds cool, isn't it? "How about you?" he asked back.

"Are you asking about my lovelife?" Jackson asked with a hand on his chest.

"No, silly. I don't want you to go drunk rumbling again about your ex." Jinyoung said to which the other just shrugged about.

"Good decision." 

"I was asking about your job. I mean, aside from the band, what else are you up to?" 

If he's in the band, he might as well get to know his members better.

"Nothing else, actually. Ever since we debuted and started working our asses off, all we ever did were shows and gigs. That's all." Jackson's lips curled up, as if he was thinking of something. "But I did finish college. I have a degree on Sports Management."

Jinyoung nodded his head. "What about the others?"

"Bambam and Yugyeom are taking online courses. Yugyeom's the same as mine while Bam chose Arts. Youngjae on the other hand, majored in Music for two years. Now, I think he's planning on continuing it through online course."

 

Jinyoung is a bit surprised that these guys have these things going on for them. But he's glad to know that they're thinking about their future too. Of course, playing in a band will not be forever. You'll have to stop, in a certain point of time.

But wait, Jackson missed something. _Someone_.

 

"But, how about Mark?" Jinyoung already knows that he's younger than the drummer, but somehow calling him _hyung_ seems a bit off for him. And he's not sure if the older would want that either.

"Oh Mark?" It seemed like Jackson just remembered about him. "Well, he wasn't able to go to college. I met him in this pizza parlor where I was working parttime. He said he moved here in L.A. with his dad. When his dad passed away, the guy became more distant than he already was. I was lucky that he agreed on getting in the band with us!"

 

Somehow, hearing this made Jinyoung see a different side of Mark. His coldness and harsh attitude may really have a reason behind it. If one gets close enough, he might see. But sadly Mark doesn't seem to let anyone get close to him. 

 

"What is that heavenly smell???"

A freshly showered Bambam came out of their room. Yugyeom is following behind him.

"Ooh, Bam! You seem to know a lot about heaven since you just came down from there. Didn't you?"

The two were in a banter, when Youngjae also went out of his room. "Please tell me, that's our dinner."

Jinyoung just smiled at him, with Yugyeom already seated by the kitchen counter and having a taste of the bulgogi.

"Oh, hyung you won't be disappointed!" The youngest then turned to him. "Jinyoung hyung, you can definitely cook our dinner from now on."

"I'll go call Mark, so we can finally eat!"

 

After Jackson called Mark, they all ate their dinner. The guys were noisy and Jinyoung chimes in every once in a while but he also can't help but glance at Mark who remained quiet all throughout dinner. 

He didn't say anything, not even about the food. _~~Not that he's complaining or expecting something~~_. After eating, Mark left without saying a word.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

_  
**Jinyoung**  
_ heard Mark scoff, right after he signed on his one year contract as being the vocalist of **The Isolated**.

 

They just had a meeting with Michael Williams, the band's manager, and Ethan Lopez, the band's handler. 

First, they were glad that Wonpil now has a replacement. They had a talk about how Jinyoung would be working with the rest of the band. 

They were talking about long term goals that Jinyoung felt like he got to be honest about his situation. His stay in the band is not definite. Sooner or later, he needs to leave, to run his dad's company. Although he really wants to stay, he just can't. So he told Michael that he's only sure for a year, but any time longer than that would be a bit impossible.

So instead of a three-year contract, Ethan gave him a one-year contract. But Jinyoung did promise that he'll try to fix things so he can stay much longer in the band. 

 

"I knew this is all temporary." Mark spoke. "After a year. He'll leave us. So we need to find another vocalist. Come to think of it, why are we even accepting him? Why not look for another one? A permanent one?"

"Stop it, Mark. Jinyoung said he'll try to smoothen out his matters." Jackson butted in.

"And you guys believe him?" Mark even hissed.

 

Jinyoung can't say anything, since Mark is technically saying the truth. He cannot stay with them. That's it. But it annoys him how Mark thinks lowly of him. 

Unconsciously, Jinyoung is now staring at Mark. His eyes were focused on the drummer. "I just don't want to make a promise which I can't keep." He said each word in all honesty.

But Mark matched his stare. He cocked his head to one side, with his brow shot up. "Oh, really?"

Before Jinyoung could answer, Ethan already threw a bucket of water in their about to heat conversation.

 

As he looks at Mark, who is with an annoyed expression, he thinks... _Mark just hates me. That's it._

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Again!" Mark said as he stopped playing the drums.

 

They were in the studio, rehearsing their set of songs which they will be singing in their series of show starting next week.

 

"Is that how you sing? Do you expect people will come to watch us just to hear you singing like that?" Mark is now on his side, with that same annoyed expression.

"I just sang it how-"

"I don't want to hear from you. Go and practice again!"

As the drummer left the room, Jinyoung saw his bandmates' eyes rolling.

 

"He's always like that when we're rehearsing." Bambam commented.

"He's worse than a lady in period." Yugyeom added.

"Don't listen to him, you sing really good. You just have to work on your accent." 

Jinyoung nodded at Jackson. He's right. Most of his words sounded more korean. But they're singing songs in English. Guess, he should try harder.

"Come on, I'll help you, hyung."

 

Youngjae and him sat by the corner while the others were on a break. 

Mark already returned and is seated on a couch with his earphones on, while playing with his drumsticks.

 

"Hyung your voice is really nice. But I think Mark hyung needs to hear more thickness and a bit of darkness in your voice." Youngjae coached him. "The song is more like a lonely and dark love song. Not just a love song. You need to make the audience feel that with your singing."

Youngjae's coaching is no joke. That explains why he majored in music. 

After a few tries, Youngjae is already smiling at Jinyoung, giving him two thumbs up.

 

"God, hyung. If you sing like that in our show, girls would be drooling over you! That's for sure!"

He laughed at the younger. "You're just being ridiculous!"

"Hey Youngjae!"

 

They were interrupted when Mark called on Youngjae. 

"Yes, hyung?" 

Mark is now beside them with his earphones off. "Go and practice on the other songs. Jackson and the guys are wasting too much time."

Youngjae just nodded and did what the older told him to, leaving Jinyoung with no one to practice with.

 

"Sing."

Jinyoung gave the drummer a puzzled look. "I said sing. Let me hear what you learned from laughing with Youngjae."

_I wasn't_ \- he sighed. It's no use arguing with the guy anyway. Jinyoung just chose to sing as he was told to.

 

_"Give me love like her..._

_cause lately I've been waking uo alone_

_paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,_

_told you I'd let them go..."_

 

He sang with all his might, with his heart. As what Youngjae taught him.

 

_"And that I'll fight my corner_

_maybe tonight, I'll call you_

_after my blood turns into alcohol,_

_oh I just want to hold you..."_

 

Jinyoung kept his eyes closed, while still singing the rest of the lyrics.

 

_"Give a little time to me or burn this out_

_we'll play hide and seek, to turn this around_

_all I want is the taste that your lips allow..._

_my, my, my, my, give me love...._

_my, my, my --"_

 

He stopped when he heard a stomp of feet and saw that Mark is already standing up. "I can't with this." Mark hissed. "Yugyeom!" He called making the younger come running. "Make sure he gets it right next time!" Then he walked back to his seat on the couch and focused on his drumsticks.

 

What was it this time? Is he really that awful?

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

All Jinyoung could hear now is Jackson singing, more like chanting "We did great!"

 

They just finished their first show for the week and they couldn't be any happier with the audience's reaction. 

Ethan is happy and contented with tonight's performance. The audience loved them. They accepted Jinyoung, as the new vocalist, well.

 

In fact, after the show, a bunch of girls asked for a picture with Jinyoung. One fan even asked if he's still single. But he answered honestly by saying that he has a boyfriend.

The girls didn't react negatively since the whole band is open and honest with their sexuality. So Jinyoung being gay is not that surprising. But maybe they just kind of hoped that he's straight, like Youngjae.

 

Jinyoung is walking towards the restroom when he saw Mark kissing some guy. He's no longer that surprised because he already saw the same scene a couple of times before. But still, it's not like he should watch either. So he walked past Mark.

 

As soon as he's in the restroom, Jinyoung called Jaebum. He's very happy right now. And he misses his boyfriend.

Jaebum answered in the third ring. "Hon? Hi."

"I miss you so much, hon." Jinyoung blurted. "How is your day?"

"Well I just had my dinner. And now I'm feeding Nora."

Nora is Jaebum's cat. He lets Nora stay in his parent's house. But now that Jaebum is alone in their apartment, he decided to let Nora stay.

It's Jaebum's day off today. That's why he can talk to him right now.

 

"Is that why you're not missing me? Because you're with Nora?"

And now he can imagine Jaebum rolling his eyes at his pettiness. "God, Jinyoung. I miss you too, okay. Now, shut up."

Jinyoung could only laugh hearing his boyfriend's voice. He's so done with him being petty over silly matters.

 

"What are you doing?" 

Jinyoung leaned on the sink and looked at his reflection. "I'm at this bar. With my new friends."

"Hmmm. Are you drinking?"

"Yes, but I know my limit." He assured.

"How long are you planning to stay there in LA?" this question. How will he answer? He cannot say that he just signed a one year contract with a band. Jaebum will not be happy about it. 

He exhaled. "Uhm.. I don't know. I'm just enjoying my remaining time here. Before I assume my position in the company."

"I'm glad that you're finally listening to your dad, hon. To me."

Jinyoung sighed. "Of course. I love you and I won't do anything that will upset you."

That ought to make Jaebum feel relieved. Jinyoung hated it that he had to lie about him joining the band but, he knows it will only upset Jaebum. And he doesn't want that.

 

He ended the call and was about to head back to their table when Jinyoung saw Mark, leaning by the door while holding a bottle of beer.

Jinyoung almost jumped in surprise. Then came the his panic. Did Mark hear his conversation with Jaebum? About the company?

 

"You're such a jerk."

God. He must really have heard.

 

"Why did you do that?" Do what? Lying to them? 

Jinyoung tried to study Mark's expression. If he's mad, or anything... but he can't. 

"Lying to someone is not a good practice." Okay. He's busted. "....especially if he's your boyfriend."

 

Then Mark is gone.

 

Jinyoung's mind is in a blur. What was that about? What was he talking about? Was it Jaebum? Was it just about Jaebum? 

He could only sigh. His head hurts from thinking too much.


	4. "The Normalcy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey :)

_**Jinyoung**_ woke up in a snap. His head almost felt like spinning after the sudden jolt. He reached for his phone which was on the table beside him and checked on the time. **9:00**. It's already nine in the morning. He overslept.

No wonder, Jackson is not on his side of the bed anymore. Normally, Jinyoung wakes up earlier than the bassist. But now, he's gone. 

 

Jinyoung sat up and tidied his messy bedhair and wore his slippers before deciding on going outside the bedroom.

 

As soon as he was outside, he was welcomed by the sight of a topless Jackson, cooking something on a frying pan. He has an apron on, though.

 

"Good morning?" Jinyoung greeted as he walked towards the kitchen counter. 

"Good morning to you too, my sleep deprived friend!" The bassist greeted him, more cheerfully. Jinyoung could only agree. Recently, he's been really deprived of sleep. Jackson, since he's his roommate, knows it best. "Come on down, I'm cooking breakfast."

He's excited, but Jinyoung isn't. When the guys cook breakfast, it's only bacon, eggs and fried rice. Unlike when Jinyoung does. He lets them taste food that will remind them of home. 

 

"What made you cook?" Jinyoung asked while sitting down on a stool. 

Jackson was trying to transfer the fried egg on the plate. "Well, I know you haven't been getting enough sleep so I didn't wake you, and the others are still in deep slumber and I'm already hungry so I cooked, thank you very much."

He's still watching the older struggling and eventually ended up ruining the egg yolk. "Oh, fuck it. Fck sunny side up. Fuck life." And Jinyoung could only laugh which earned a glare from the guy. "Hey you, stop laughing and wake those lazy assed punks!"

"Why me?" Jinyoung wanted to protest but Jackson just gave him a stern look. "Okay, then." He stood up and went to the guys' bedrooms.

 

He opened the door of the bedroom shared by the two guitarists. It's not his first time to see the room, it's the biggest among all the rooms.

 

"Hey guys, breakfast is -" Jinyoung almost froze at what he was seeing right now.

 

Bambam and Yugyeom are still lying on their bed, facing each other. Yugyeom's arm is draped around Bambam's bare shoulder. While Bambam's leg is on top of Yugyeom's. The blanket is barely covering the two, only letting Jinyoung see that the two were actually naked underneath.

Jinyoung is not that stupid to think that they're sleeping in that position as bestfriends.

_What the freaking shit_ is all that runs in Jinyoung's head. But before he could recover, Yugyeom is already waking up.

 

"Hyung?" It was confusion at first before it turned into panic. Yugyeom's eyes are now huge, probably bigger than Jinyoung's. Wow. He didn't expect this. Now, the way Jackson teased them made sense to Jinyoung.

"Uh... breakfast is served." was all Jinyoung could say. "Come out when you're...uhm...when..when you're ready." Then he turned to leave.

As he closed the door, he heard Jackson laughing. He looked at him and saw the older smirking.

"Now you know what kind of horror I am seeing every morning!"

Jinyoung could only shake his head as he walked towards the next room, Youngjae's. The younger is sleeping alone, he knows that. But just to be sure, he decided to knock first.

 

"Youngjae?" He called out with another knock. He heard a "come in!" so Jinyoung opened the door.

"What's it, hyung?" Youngjae asked while removing his eye mask and scratching his head.

"Breakfast is ready. Jackson said to wake you guys up so we can eat."

Youngjae nodded, still with his eyes closed so Jinyoung nodded too and left the room.

 

The last guy that he needs to wake up, is Mark. Jinyoung tried to shake off the thoughts in his head. Thoughts of last night. How he was awoken by a certain kind of noise. He should've been used to it. Ever since they started playing, Mark didn't miss on bringing a guy to their place.

And ever since, Jinyoung is always woken up by the same reason. Mark's voice echoing the walls of the room. The creaking sound, and the sound of something falling and sometimes breaking. He hears everything. And Jinyoung having quite an imagination is not helping.

He always wondered if he's the only one hearing those sounds. But last night, when he heard Jackson said "You'll get used to it, someday.", he figured that the other guys also hear it, but choose to not mind.

 

Jinyoung inhaled before knocking on Mark's door. He wasn't answering so he knocked once again. He heard a grunt before a "It's open!". Another deep breath, before Jinyoung went inside.

The first thing he saw were clothes. Mark's clothes, he presumed. A couple of worn shirts were on the floor. Then the shoes, near the bed. Packs of chips on the side table. Socks and a used towel on top of the bed.

To say that the room was messy, is an understatement. _It's like a jungle in here_ , Jinyoung could only think.

 

"What?" A half awake Mark is asking. 

"Uhm, Jackson cooked breakfast and asked me to wake you guys up." Jinyoung said with eyes still roaming around the room, looking for any sign of life.

"What are you looking at?" Mark who is now sitting up on the bed, has his arms crossed and forehead creased.

"I actually am not sure..." Jinyoung mumbled.

"What did you say?" the drummer asked, more impatient this time.

"Nothing...it's just..." Mark is looking at him as if daring him to say his thoughts out loud. And that made Jinyoung do just that. "It's so messy in here."

He can't help it. Jinyoung likes keeping things organized and neat. He had this same problem with Jaebum in their first few months living together. But, as what he sees, Mark is much worse.

"Really? Then why don't you clean it?" Mark challenged him.

"Yeah, maybe I should." Jinyoung answered back before turning towards the door. "Come on out so we can eat breakfast."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

They were eating what Jackson has cooked. 

Jinyoung could feel Yugyeom and Bambam staring at him but when he looks back, they will withdraw theirs. He gets it. They're embarrassed. Maybe their relationship, or whatever that is that they have, is a secret. Well, Jackson knows for sure but, as for Youngjae and Mark...Jinyoung is not sure. 

_Maybe I should talk to them later_...Jinyoung thought. He doesn't want the two younger members to be awkward around him.

 

Jackson was being hit by Youngjae after making fun of his pronunciation, when Jinyoung heard his phone ringing.

He was surprised to see that it's Jaebum, calling through facetime. His heart automatically picked up its pace as he answered.

 

Soon enough, he was greeted by his handsome boyfriend in a white coat.

 

"Hi hon, I suppose it's a good morning there?" 

Jinyoung immediately smiled. He miss him. "Yeah it is. And it's..."

"It's my lunchbreak here." Jaebum continued. "How are you? And I miss you, by the way."

Jinyoung loves it when Jaebum says it first. He was about to say I miss you too when suddenly Jackson squeezed his face next to him for Jaebum to see.

"Hi, Jinyoung's boyfriend! I'm Jackson!" 

Jinyoung turned the phone away making Jackson pout. He only excused himself and went towards the living room.

"Jackson? Who's that?" Jaebum is now asking him.

"He's one of my new found friends here in L.A. I'm staying at their place."

 

After a couple of minutes, they have to end the call, since Jaebum's breaktime is already finished.

When Jinyoung returned, Jackson is all over him, saying "Your boyfriend is one hot looking surgeon!"

That got the others agreeing. Yugyeom got hit in the arm by Bambam for saying "Oh that's right" too loud. Youngjae just laughed and warned Jinyoung about Jackson out to steal his boyfriend, which then the bassist complained. "Hey, I'm not like that!". They were all laughing, but Jinyoung's eyes met Mark's which gives nothing but a cold stare.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"God, what kind of life is he living?"

Jinyoung grunted as he picked up the worn shirts from the floor. 

 

When Mark left for the gym, Jinyoung decided to clean the drummer's room. He suggested it anyway. And the guy needs it. 

He put all the worn clothes in the bin, and the unworn ones back in the closet. The guy should be taught what cleanliness means.

His last destination, is Mark's bed. Does the guy even bother to fix his bed? He thinks not. Jinyoung removed the socks and the used towel off the bed before fluffing its bedding.

But as he did, he saw something fall off the bed and roll under it. 

Jinyoung knelt down to reach for it which appeared to be a bottle.

 

**Slippery Stuffs** he read the brand. Jinyoung felt his cheeks burning but immediately slapped himself for acting coy.

Of course Mark has one. Even he, has one. It's normal. It's a necessity when doing the _deed_. He's not ignorant in these things.

So Jinyoung just walked towards Mark's drawer to put the bottle of lube. But when he opened the first drawer, he saw something which caught his attention.

He doesn't know why but he took it and held it out, staring at it. It's a bright red colored underwear. Jinyoung just can't believe Mark is wearing one. 

And why is he bothered by it?

 

Just then, the door opened revealing a sweaty Mark. Figures, he just came from the gym. 

Out of instinct, Jinyoung quickly put the underwear back inside the drawer and closed it.

 

"What are you doing?" Mark asked slowly, emphasizing every word.

He swallowed before answering. "I was cleaning your room."

"Who told you to do-" Mark stopped as if realizing something. Because yes, the older said that. Mark cleared his throat. "I wasn't even serious."

"Well..h-how was I to know?" Jinyoung stuttered. "Anyway, it is needed to be done anyway. I just did you a favor." His eyes shifted from left to right. "Uh, I'll go now."

Jinyoung moved almost as fast as lightning. But before he could leave, he heard the drummer speak.

 

"That was not mine." Jinyoung turned to him with a puzzled look. His eyes averted the younger for a second, before staring back again. "The underwear. It's not mine."

Oh. Okay. Jinyoung just nodded, not knowing what he had to say anyway, then turned to finally get out of the room.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Bye hon, I will call you again tomorrow. I miss you." He avoided those brown eyes. "I love you." 

After ending the call with his boyfriend, Jinyoung turned to look at Mark again, who kept his eyes on him all throughout his conversation with Jaebum.

 

It was weird. Let alone, awkward. The way he's staring at him like he's doing something wrong? Why is that? Did he even look at Mark like that despite catching him a couple of times, making out in public? What gives?

 

"We can all fit inside my car." Jinyoung said after Jackson asked for them to go home.

"Yugyeom and Bambam can go with me."

Not only him was surprised when Mark said that. "Oh, hyung. You're not... going home with... someone?" Even Youngjae is.

But Mark shrugged. "You and Jackson can go with him." points at him. "Yugyeom and Bambam will go with me."

 

It probably is the first time, Mark hasn't brought someone with him. It's also the first time that they all went home together.

Jinyoung was a bit relieved. Knowing that he might get a good sleep tonight. Well, except if Bambam and Yugyeom will get too loud. He hopes not.

 

But then again, Jinyoung was awakened by something. It was around 2 a.m. when he heard someone playing the piano. 

He finally had peace from Mark. But now, there's Youngjae?

Jinyoung got out of the bed and headed outside. He was ready to scold Youngjae who is probably in the living room, playing the piano.

But once outside, he saw the person he least expected to see.

 

Mark was playing the piano. Jinyoung didn't know he could even play the piano. But now he's watching him.

He's playing a really sad melody. His eyes were closed, completely immersed in what he's playing.

 

_"You told me you love me, so why did you go away?"_

The drummer sang. 

 

Jinyoung could feel the sadness emanating from Mark's voice. The moonlight is slightly glowing on the side of his face, making him look even lonelier. He wanted to go closer, but then Mark stopped playing.

 

"Shit." The older muttered before going back inside his room.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

He overslept again. This time, Jinyoung is awoken by the noise coming from the living room. He even heard Bambam shouting at Yugyeom, something like "Hurry up!".

Jinyoung looked at his phone to check the time. **10 a.m**. Waking up early has been a struggle for him, these past few days.

Normally, he has Jaebum to wake him up during lazy mornings. But now, he has no one to do just that for him.

 

After wearing his slippers, he went outside. There he saw Youngjae all dressed and about to head outside the door. "Bye guys!" then he saw him. "Oh, bye also Jinyoung hyung. I'll be back tonight." then he's gone.

"Yugyeom hurry up, you brat! I don't want to be caught up in a traffic!" Bambam is shouting again at Yugyeom who just got out of their room while wearing his shoes.

"Alright! Alright!" The youngest whined. "It's not as if the clothes will run out!"

Bambam grabbed his arm. "It's a sale, nitwit. They might run out!"

Without saying goodbye or anything, the two were gone.

 

Jinyoung was just standing there when Jackson appeared from the kitchen. 

"Oh, Jinyoung. You're awake!" The bassist is all dressed too. "Did you eat already?"

Jinyoung shook his head. "Where is everybody going?"

Jackson sat on the couch as he wears his shoes. "Youngjae will go to this music show with his sister, Yugyeom is dragged by Bambam to go shopping and I, well I'm off to meet with my other friends."

"You're all leaving?"

The older stood up and fixed himself. "Yes we are. But we'll all be back before tonight's show." Jackson tapped his back. "Go and eat breakfast."

"But all of you already ate."

"Mark is still here." Jackson pointed towards the kitchen where Mark actually is, seated by the kitchen counter. "Go and eat with him. I need to go, bye!"

 

Soon enough, it was only him and Mark left.

Jinyoung looked at the drummer, who was also looking at him. Why does he always has that expression? Would it hurt to smile? God. This guy is acting like a smile will cost him a million or something.

 

"Have you eaten?" 

The older asked without looking at him. Was he even talking to him? But then Mark's eyes met his, with brows shot up. Okay. He should answer.

"N-not yet."

Mark continued eating. "Then go and eat."

Oh. Right. Jinyoung made his way towards the kitchen. He'll just fry an egg. That'll be better than an empty stomach.

 

"What are you doing?" He stopped after hearing him. Mark is now facing him with his furrowed eyebrows.

"Uhm. I'll cook?" Jinyoung sounded unsure.

He heard the older hiss before pushing the plate with bacon and fried eggs towards him. "I already did."

He can see that. But, Jinyoung is thinking, what is Mark saying? 

"Just eat with me."

 

Is this real? He thought. Mark is asking him to eat together? Doesn't he hate him? Jinyoung is confused.

But maybe because Jinyoung was staring for too long, Mark rolled his eyes. "I just hate eating alone." 

Slowly, Jinyoung walked towards the counter and sat on a stool.

Mark handed him a plate with fork and spoon, while wearing a poker face. Is this guy made to be void from emotions?

"It only makes me feel that I really am alone."

 

The way Mark said that...it probably made Jinyoung say those words. 

 

"But you're not." He stared at those cold eyes. "You have me."

 

If this was like the normal times, Jinyoung wouldn't have said that. 

If this was like the normal times, Mark would've snapped at him already.

 

Jinyoung doesn't know how and why things are happening the way they were, right now. But he knows he doesn't want it the other way.

This is nice. Far from normal, but nice.

 

"Yeah, right." Mark said.

Jinyoung swore, he saw his smile before it vanished. Mark smiled. At him.

 

And why does a part of him kind of wants to see it again? He wants to make Mark smile like that again.

 

Because that smile, well that's quite a change in the normalcy of the things between them, but... he'll be lying if he says he didn't like seeing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so I'm back. Sorryyyyyy


	5. "When it's the alcohol that's talking"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while... (a very long one, sorry)

Jinyoung is in a half awake, half asleep state while walking his way outside his and Jackson's shared bedroom.

Oversleeping has really became his hobby. Especially now, that they finished their first set of shows. The band was given a week of vacation, and boy does Jinyoung make the most out of it.

 

Once outside, he saw his bandmates, gathered around the kitchen counter while eating breakfast. It seemed like it's Bambam who cooked today, because he's still wearing an apron.

Since they're on vacation, waking the other members up is not needed anymore. Every morning, the one who gets up first will cook breakfast for everyone. And they have to save some food for whoever is the last person to wake up. That's an unwritten rule in the band.

 

"Bam, I really like your eggs!" Yugyeom said while eating a slice of Bam's sunny side up.

But the red haired just slapped the youngest's back who is completely taken by surprise due to the sudden attack. "Why?" Yugyeom even asked but Bambam just shook his head, his face beet red. "I just said that I like your eggs very much-"

"Jeez. Stop it with my eggs, already!"

And Jinyoung is now laughing while sitting down on a stool beside Youngjae. He just finds it hilarious, how the couple's conversation turned out.

 

Oh yeah about that. Jinyoung is calling Bambam and Yugyeom a couple because when he talked to the two youngest, they were honest about how they feel towards each other. And that made Jinyoung happy, that they trust him enough. Although the two are still not out about the real score between them, it's enough for Jinyoung to know that what they have is more than just physical intimacy. It involves feelings. Real ones.

 

"Jinyoung-ah!" Now it's Jackson who's loud, greeting him with his mouth full. 

"Yah, Jackson hyung! Table manners, please!" Youngjae complained beside him. "And good morning, Jinyoung hyung."

He greeted back at the younger. A second after, Mark's room opened and the drummer walked out with sleepy eyes. "You guys are too loud." The members apologized but the noise didn't lessen at all. Mark could just groan as he walked towards the counter.

 

Jinyoung smiled at him as the drummer sat in front of him. "Uh, good morning." Mark greeted. "Have you eaten?" The older asked while looking for his plate which he doesn't have since he still hasn't ate. Jinyoung shook his head.

"Oh, you still haven't?" Mark then stood up and headed towards the refrigerator. "Do you eat waffles?" 

Jinyoung smiled while nodding. "Yes, I do. It's my favorite!" Maybe he came out too cheerful, but he doesn't regret it, as soon as he saw a small smile grazing on the drummer's lips. 

He's used to it. Mark smiling, and hiding it from him. It's as if he's not entitled to see it. But it's fine with Jinyoung. As long as he's able to make the older smile a bit, even a smirk or a grin would do. Just not those cold stares.

Mark turned to get the box of belgian waffle mix from the refrigerator. "Okay then, I'll go make us some."

"Yah, Mark!" Jackson shouted, spitting bits of eggs in the process. There goes Youngjae's annoyed expression. He did remind the bassist of table manners. 

Mark turned to the blonde. The latter swallowed first before speaking again. "Why are you not asking me if I want waffles?" The drummer rolled his eyes. "It's because you're already eating."

Jackson continued to complain but Mark did a good job shutting him up.

 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jinyoung can't help but ask Jackson who is eyeing him for the past ten minutes. Yes, that long.

Jackson who is now finished eating leaned on the counter top. "What kind of spell is Mark under?"

Jinyoung scrunched his nose. "What spell are you talking about?"

"Well, if I'm the only one who has eyes then it's probably me only who can notice that Mark's attitude towards you turned 360 degrees." Jinyoung snorted but the bassist continued. "What happened that day? When you two were left here alone?"

Jinyoung decided to not answer, only making the other frustrated, until Mark finishes making the waffles.

 

"There is really something fishy here." Jackson seriously can't let it go. 

Mark and Jinyoung are still eating. Yugyeom and Bambam are sitting on the couch. Youngjae is eating cereals.

"What the hell is your problem this time, Jackson?" Mark spoke. "Is this still about the waffles, God. Go and make yourself one, then."

But Jackson just continued to give them the look. Jinyoung isn't sure what to call that kind of look and why Jackson is giving them that.

 

"First, you're asking him about eating. Second, you're smiling and talking to him without shouting or getting mad. And now, you made him waffles."

They all know him pertains to him, Jinyoung. But seriously, Jackson is making this such a big deal.

"So?" Mark asked nonchalantly.

"So?" Jackson repeated with the same tone. "What happened to I'll make your life hell Mark? All I see is Have you eaten Mark."

"Hey!" He now called on the other. "I thought you were on my side? Why do you want Mark to be like how he was with me again?"

"Something just doesn't add up." Before any of Mark or Jinyoung could talk, Jackson is speaking again. "Ever since you two ate breakfast together, things changed. Mark started going home with us. And the weirdest thing," Jackson is now facing Mark. "..you're not bringing any guy to our place anymore. No random hook ups or one night stands?"

Mark pretended like he's gonna hit Jackson. "You're talking like I'm sex-deprived, when I am not."

"Oh I know you aren't, but you're a sex maniac." Jinyoung almost choked on Jackson's words but the bassist is far from stopping. "Oh!" Jackson's eyes widened as if he just realized something. "Are you two, fucking around with each other?"

And that did it for Jinyoung. He's now coughing. Thank God for Youngjae who is tapping his back.

 

Now, even Yugyeom and Bambam are all ears to their conversation.

"What the actual fuck are you saying, Wang?" Mark is as shocked as he was, Jinyoung thinks. "How is that even possible when Jinyoung is sharing a room with you?"

"Would you like to switch rooms with me, then?"

"Fuck you!" Mark shouted as he threw a grape at Jackson who is only laughing. "He has a boyfriend." he said while looking at Jinyoung.

And as if on cue, Jinyoung's phone rang. It's Jaebum calling.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"What are you working on?" Jinyoung asked Youngjae before sitting beside him. 

It was a lazy afternoon. 

Bambam and Jackson are on the couch playing some video games. Yugyeom is in his room, probably sleeping. Mark is watching the guys playing. And Youngjae is playing the piano.

 

"Oh, it's just a song that I finished writing." Youngjae handed him his music pad, where song lyrics were written. 

"Oh. Can I hear it?"

Youngjae smiled at him before playing.

 

"When the days are cold  
And the cards all fold  
And the saints we see  
Are all made of gold"

Jinyoung already likes the melody. He listened some more as he reads the lyrics.

 

"When your dreams all fail  
And the ones we hail  
Are the worst of all  
And the blood’s run stale

I want to hide the truth  
I want to shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There’s nowhere we can hide"

 

Soon enough, Jinyoung finds himself singing along with Youngjae.

"No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide  
Don’t get too close  
It’s dark inside  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide"

 

"That was beautiful." 

The two of them looked at Mark who is now in front of them. 

"Youngjae, you wrote a really good song. And you sang it very well." Mark added.

"Oh Mark hyung, Jinyoung hyung also sang it good. His voice is perfect for this song." 

Now Mark is staring at him, and Jinyoung isn't sure why his palms felt like sweating. 

"Yeah you're right. His voice is perfect."

 

"Hyuuuuunnnggggsss!!!"

They were all bothered by Yugyeom who is calling them on his way towards the living room.

"Let's go eat barbecue. I'm craving for it!"

 

And because Yugyeom wants it, he now has it. Just kidding. They're eating barbecue becaue all of them missed eating korean barbecue.

They drove to Chosun Galbee - a korean barbecue restaurant.

And now, five servings of korean barbecue, four servings of cold noodles and twelve bottles of soju after, they are on this segment which Jackson preferred to call Fast Talk.

 

"Are you a top? Or a bottom?"

Jackson's question quickly sent Jinyoung's blood rushing to his face. Is it only him or the surrounding just got hotter?

Jackson's Fast Talk is more of a Sex Talk. All his questions were too vulgar, not to mention against one's privacy. But all the others were totally game and honest on answering the questions which kinda left Jinyoung with no other choice but to answer.

 

What's the question again? Is he a top or a bottom? Goodness gracious.

Jinyoung finished his soju before talking.

"It depends on the... mood. But... most of the times, well... well, I'm a top." 

And Jackson's squeal echoed though the walls of the restaurant. It's a good thing they're at the far end of the restaurant and there were not much costumers.

 

Jackson is still squealing, waving his hands frantically. "Why the fuck does your answer turn me on?!"

Mark then threw a bottle cap on the Chinese's head. "Hey! You pervert!" The others just laughed. "If you'll continue being like that, I think Jinyoung should sleep in my room tonight. You're dangerous!"

But Jackson just stuck his tongue out. "And you're saying, he's safer with you? Huh, Tuan?!"

And now, Mark is strangling him.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung woke up when he felt someone tapping his leg. Then he heard Jackson waking him up.

 

"Jinyoung-ah," His face is etched with worry. "I think I owe you an apology."

Jinyoung sat up, while rubbing his eyes. "What? What for?"

"Uhm...well I didn't know that... your boyfriend didn't know that you're on a band."

Jinyoung's eyes flew open. He's now fully awake, alright. 

"H-he called, but you were sleeping so I answered and..." Jackson's eyes shifted from left to right. "I might've told him that we have a show later night and you're tired from rehearsing."

Jackson handed him his phone and Jinyoung felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on to him as he saw the number of missed calls from Jaebum.

"I'm really sorry, Jinyoung."

But he wasn't able to answer because he's now busy on calling his boyfriend. But to no avail. Jaebum isn't answering.

"Shit." was all he could say.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Hon." 

Relief washed through Jinyoung as he was able to call Jaebum now.

 

The band just finished their show for the night, and Jinyoung tried calling his boyfriend again. After a couple of tries, thank goodness, he finally answered.

 

"Hon..." He said again after hearing nothing from the other line. But Jinyoung is sure he's there. "I'm sorry." he sighed. "I'm sorry if I kept it from you. About the band. But, you know that I really love music. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you but I know you'll be upset and I don't want that."

"And do you think I am not upset now, Jinyoung?"

Jaebum sounds serious. Too serious. He could only sigh again.

"I'm sorry. But I just... I just really wanted this. You know that."

"And you know what your dad wants. And what I want. If I'm important to you as you say, you'll do what I want."

Jinyoung felt silent. It's always like this when they argue. He knows he'll never win. He just sighed again. "Hon, I'm really sorry, but-"

"We cannot talk about this through phone." Jaebum interrupted him. "We have a lot of things to talk about. I'll fly there tomorrow. Then, we'll talk." and the call is ended.

Shit. Jaebum is going to L.A. 

Jinyoung doesn't know if he should be happy about it.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung is gazing over the streets of downtown L.A. 

It's past 2am and he still can't sleep. All that runs in his head is Jaebum going here, and how their talk will be.

 

"Jackson is a shithead, right?"

Mark is now beside him, leaning on the railings. He's holding a bottle of vodka and two glasses. The drummer handed him one and poured him a drink.

He nodded before drinking. There was silence.

 

"Jaebum is flying to L.A." Jinyoung stopped for a moment. "Tomorrow."

Mark's head cocked to the side. "Shouldn't you be happy, then?"

Jinyoung asked for another shot before speaking. Both him and Mark have their eyes towards the dark sky.

 

"He doesn't understand me." Jinyoung started off. "Jaebum never tried to understand me. This is who I am. This is what I want. But still, he refuses to understand that."

On the side of his eye, he can see Mark nodding his head. "So, you'll choose this band over him?"

With that, Jinyoung could only smile faintly. "No." even his laugh is bland. "I'm not choosing my dream over him. I'll just, give him time. Maybe when he see how much I love music, if he came to watch us play, maybe... maybe he'll change his mind and support me."

Mark poured himself a shot and drank it. "What if he doesn't?"

Jinyoung laughed at the drummer. "Are you always this negative?" 

"Life made me."

 

His answer came out too fast that it made Jinyoung silent. They were silent for a minute, before Jinyoung talked again.

"I don't know..." He answers the drummer's previous question. "But maybe I'll give this up. For him, I could give everything up. I'm just hoping that he could understand me but if he doesn't, then to hell with my dream. As long as I have him with me, that's more than enough."

 

Jinyoung didn't realize his answer was too mushy, not until he saw Mark shaking his head lightly, while smirking.

"One ass whipped man, that's what you are!"

Jinyoung just laughed as Mark continues to tease him. Then he thought, this is nice. He felt a little closer to Mark. That's when he decided to get to know the older better.

 

"By the way..." Mark is now staring at him so he continued. "Why did you hate me so much from our very first meeting? You even threatened to make my life hell. What gives?"

Mark's eyes averted his before answering. "You... y-you remind me of someone." He drank another shot. "Someone I've been trying so hard, and still trying to forget."

This Mark he's talking with, is a different Mark. He's not the cold and distant Mark. Maybe it's the alcohol who's talking. But Jinyoung's glad to have this kind of conversation with the drummer.

 

Then he remembered. That song. That sad song he heard Mark singing.

 

"I've heard you singing." Jinyoung said. "That sad melody. The sad song you were singing that night...was that for him?"

A bitter smile crossed on the other's face. "You asshole. Are you stalking me?" and they both find theirselves laughing.

They were almost finished with the vodka when Mark talked again.

 

"You know what's shitty?" he's asking but Jinyoung didn't answer. He just listened. "I thought it was painful when he left. When...when he changed his mind and left me? The pain almost killed me."

Is it just him?

Is it because of the moonlight?

Or did he just see a tear escaping Mark's eye?

 

"But there's a much greater pain. I never thought I could hurt much more."

Mark stared back at him while emptying his glass. "Hey you! You already know a lot about me! Enough of that!"

Mark's words were slurry. He's drunk, alright. He almost finished the whole bottle. And Jinyoung thought he was the one with a big problem.

 

Jinyoung grunted as he struggled to put Mark to his bed. He's smaller than him, but he's heavier than he seems. Jinyoung's back aches.

He tucked the drummer into his bed. This was a long night. He needs to sleep.

 

But when he's about to leave, Mark grabbed his arm. When he looked, Mark still had his eyes closed.

Now, what is this?

 

"Don't..." Mark spoke. The older's hand reached for his, gently squeezing it. "Don't go, please." Jinyoung almost froze. "Please don't leave me........Jinwoo."

 

Jinwoo? Is he Mark's ex? 

Jinyoung stared at his hand, held by Mark's. It seems like he's not gonna be able to go anywhere, does he?

Jinyoung could only sigh.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung startled awoke. He's in Mark's room! And what time is it?

Thank God, it's only 7am. He didn't overslept. 

Carefully, he went outside Mark's room and inside his shared room with Jackson.

 

When he opened the door, he saw Jackson holding his phone. God, he left it again in their room.

"Jackson!" He called out. The Chinese is also surprised as he handed the phone back.

 

"Hey, I didn't do anything wrong. It's your fault! You left your phone here, again! And Jaebum called, again!"

Jinyoung felt his cold sweat upon seeing five missed calls from his boyfriend.

 

"Whete have you been anyway? Where did you sleep? Did you sneak out? And why-"

"Jackson!" He stopped the bassist from blabbering. "What did Jaebum say?"

Jackson sighed exasperatedly. "He said he'll be boarding his flight now and he wants you to fetch him from the airport." Jinyoung just nodded. "He asked where you were and I have to lie about you leaving early for rehearsals! I just saved your ass, man! And no thank you?"

Jinyoung rolled his eyes at the older. He still owes him after telling on Jaebum. If it wasn't for him, he won't have to deal with this problem. 

But yeah, Jackson did save his ass just now.

 

"Okay. Thanks a lot, shithead."

He didn't give Jackson a chance to say anything as he got his towel and headed to the restroom. 

 

Jaebum will arrive in more or less 13 hours. 

Why does that make him anxious?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. I hope to be back more frequently. :) Thank you for reading this chapter!


	6. "His Decision"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long...

**_Jinyoung_** shifted on his feet while standing along the airport's waiting hall. 

He would like to walk another pace but some of the people are giving him weird stares already. And why wouldn't they? He's been pacing back and forth for the past thirty minutes.

 

It was past 8pm and Jinyoung is expecting Jaebum to arrive in any minute.

Jinyoung flicked his tongue and paced back and forth again for the nth time.

 

Why does he feel like he's waiting for the result of an exam where in he just guessed every single answer?

He feels anxious alright.

 

And when the arrival of the flight was announced, Jinyoung almost jumped on his feet. His nervousness is surfacing.

 

A few moments after, passengers of the flight started arriving. When he saw his red wine hair, Jinyoung's heart started to quicken its pace. 

 

He's in the middle of contemplating whether he should greet or not. And if he decides to speak, what should he say? 

Jaebum's poker face is not helping. Every step that his boyfriend took seems so slow and very excruciating for him. He missed him. But, he doesn't think he's ready to face him just yet.

 

But before Jinyoung could say anything, he felt Jaebum's arms wrap around his shoulders and almost cover the whole of his back.

He's sure that Jaebum could feel how hard his heart is beating right now. His anxiousness toned down and is now being replaced by longing. He just realized, it's been a month since he last felt this pair of arms, since he felt this familiar warmth.

He missed this. He missed Jaebum. He missed his anchor.

 

"Why are you standing there like a cactus?" Jaebum asked after breaking the hug.

"Weren't you mad at me?" his question made Jaebum shrug. His boyfriend nodded, without any second thoughts.  _So he is mad,_ Jinyoung is now sure.

"Yeah I am." It came out casually. "But it doesn't change the fact that I still missed you." 

And with those words, Jinyoung cannot help but pull his boyfriend in again for another hug. Because one is not enough. He missed him so much, he could cry. Having Jaebum in his arms makes him question his decision of going to L.A. alone. How did he even manage to be far from Jaebum? For a month? He really survived?

"Okay." Jaebum mumbled in his shoulder. "So we're hugging again." Jinyoung felt the older's arms around him again.

"I missed you so much." Jinyoung said as he pulled back. He cupped Jaebum's face and kissed him tenderly. "God, I missed you." He repeated himself. "I'm sorry."

Jaebum's eyes pierced through him. Even after four years of being with the latter, Jinyoung still finds it hard to read every emotion coming from those eyes. And right now, is no different.

"Before we go through that, maybe we should head somewhere?" Jaebum suggested. "We'll talk about it, but somewhere else. Not here."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung just finished explaining the whole story to Jaebum.

They're in a cafe near the airport. Jaebum said he's not hungry and Jinyoung ain't sure if he can eat in this situation, either.

 

"So this band that you're talking about, I mean, this band that you're in... are you like... a big thing here?"

Jaebum asked while sipping on his coffee.

"It's not  _that_ big. But we're well known here. Shows from left to right. And the talent fee that we're earning is more than just something. Considering, those guys afford to stay at Windsors."

Jaebum's eyes went huge, a sign of surprise by what the younger just said.

"Then I can say that the band is in a good state."

Jinyoung just nodded, watching his boyfriend sitting back on his chair. "Your dad doesn't know about this."

"And you can't let him know about this, hon."

He heard the other sigh, while still staring at him like he's deciding whether he should or should not tell.

"Please, hon?" Jinyoung pleaded which then made his boyfriend shut his eyes and exhale deeply.

Seconds after, Jaebum stared at his eyes. "You have a gig today, right? That Jackson told me you were rehearsing." Jinyoung just nodded. "Then, I want to see it."  _See it?_ Jinyoung's mind repeated. 

Jaebum leaned in closer. 

"I want to see what you always talk about. Those things you say you love about music, I want to see it."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung sat beside his boyfriend. They just finished the whole set and Jaebum was watching them,  _watching him_ all throughout the show.

He was expecting to hear something from Jaebum. It doesn't even have to be a positive remark  _(though he's sure he would want to hear one)_ but Jaebum didn't say anything. He just sat there as the other members also returned from the backstage.

Jinyoung wanted to ask but...maybe he'll just wait.

 

"Guys, this is Jaebum. My boyfriend."

After saying that, Jackson and Yugyeom were all over Jaebum asking him about himself. Jinyoung was worried because he knew Jaebum as a little aloof and awkward around new people but Jaebum just gave him a reassuring smile, saying that he got things under control. So he just let his bandmates do the  _getting to know each other_ segment with Jaebum.

 

A couple of beers later, Bambam is asking for all of them to head home because Yugyeom is almost dead drunk. 

"Uh, hon?" Jinyoung looked back at Jaebum. "I think I should check in a hotel first."

Oh right. He has no place to offer Jaebum. Now he thinks he should stay with Jaebum in a hotel.

 

"You don't have to, Jaebum!!" Jackson is now beside them, putting his arm around Jinyoung's shoulder. "Our place is so big, it could fit an elephant. So you, staying over, will not be a hassle."

"I'll stay in your apartment?" Jaebum has his eyebrows knitted.

"Why not? You're Jinyoung's boyfriend. And he's our dear friend. Of course you'll get the same privilege! You can stay at our place, right Mark?"

Jackson pulled Mark with his hoodie. The drummer just grunted and hit the latter's hand who then said  _Ouch_. "I'm just asking if Jaebum can stay at our place."

Jinyoung saw Mark as he grimaced at Jackson before turning to them and answering.

"It depends on you. You're the room mate." His eyes remained on Jinyoung's.

"I could sleep with Youngjae! Right Jae?" They heard a  _yes_ from the pianist, making Jackson smile widely. "See? So Jaebum, you'll stay with us."

All three of them stared at each other after Jackson left.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Your room is quite big."

Jaebum said as he sat on the bed. He just finished showering. He went next after Jinyoung. He also put his bag beside him and started unpacking.

It's just a small travelling bag since he only planned to stay over the weekends, three days max. As much as he missed his boyfriend, well Jaebum can't miss too much on his work either.

 

"Technically, it's Jackson's room." Jinyoung said as he leaned back on the dresser across the room. He's still drying his hair with a towel.

"Now I'm feeling a little guilty for throwing him out of his own room."

Jinyoung put down his towel, walked towards his boyfriend and helped him unpack his things. "Well, it was Jackson who insisted. And I'm thankful that he did."

"Cause if he didn't?" Jaebum tested him.

"Well then, I have to move in to your hotel, so that I can be with you..." there's a creeping smile on the side of his lips as Jinyoung moved closer, keeping his eyes on the older.

Jaebum's brows arched in the attempt to tease the younger. "And what if I don't agree on that?"

Jinyoung stilled for a while and cocked his head to one side,  _his thinking pose_. Then, he's smirking. "Oh, won't you?"

Now all he hears is Jaebum's laugh. It's rare for Jinyoung to hear this kind of laugh from his boyfriend. He's always been the serious one. Like,  _why are you laughing, there's nothing funny_ kind.

 

"Well, I don't know..." Jinyoung isn't sure how Jaebum managed to get rid of the bag between them because now their knees are touching each other. "But...one thing is for sure..." He felt his boyfriend's hands on the hem of his white shirt. "...You look so damn hot on that stage." 

Jinyoung's heart is beating eratically and seeing Jaebum bite his lips is not helping! He saw a grin forming on the older's lips. Jinyoung knows that Jaebum noticed how he's staring intently at those lips. Those lips which he missed. 

 

Jinyoung had his right hand on the side of Jaebum as he leans in closer, inhaling his scent. Jinyoung always loved his musky smell. Jaebum has a certain crisp in his scent which Jinyoung finds really irresistible.

"Are you teasing me right now?" His question came out with a hiss as he bring his face closer to the other, their noses touching. "...cause I swear to God-" even Jinyoung can't make out what he just said. It became a soft mumble which then turned into a soft moan when Jaebum crashed his lips on his.

It was tender, yet very needy at the same time. Jinyoung's left hand made it's way to Jaebum's neck, caressing it softly, pinching its sides, eliciting a moan from the latter. Jaebum loves whatever he does on his neck, whether he touches it, all the more when he kisses it. That's his weak spot.

Slowly, Jinyoung pressed his weight on Jaebum as the other lies down on the bed. Jaebum's hands are working too. Jinyoung now felt those inside his shirt, pushing it up in the process. He used his right hand to follow Jaebum's doing too. 

His lips traced the line of Jaebum's sharp jaw, earning another moan from the other. "Oh god. Dear god." Jinyoung could only grin thinking how religious he can make Jaebum.

He brought his mouth back to Jaebum's lips once again, his tongue now seeking for entrance, which Jaebum gladly gave. His hands remained on the side of his boyfriend's waist, when he felt Jaebum struggling with his shirt. Jinyoung pulled back to look at him. 

Jaebum's eyes were in a daze while trying to focus on him. "This. Off. Now." he laughed at how demanding and bossy Jaebum sounded when he's on the edge. He smiled and was about to do just that when they heard someone knocking on the door. Then, Jackson's voice.

 

"Hey Jinyoung? Jinyoung??" A couple more  _Jinyoungs_ before Jinyoung did answer. 

"What is it?" he shouted back, still not getting off of Jaebum. 

"Oh! Mark was calling for you! He said he has something to talk to you about!"

Jinyoung creased his forehead thinking what might it be about, but seeing Jaebum's inpatient face, he shrugged it off.

"I'll go later!" He shouted once again.

"Oh okay!"

 

Jaebum's sigh made him look at his boyfriend again. "Now, where were we?" Jinyoung asked.

"Your shirt." Jaebum said pointing at it. With another smirk and one swift move, Jinyoung was able to take off his shirt. "Now, yours."

Jaebum didn't need any telling. He did just as same, leaving them both shirtless and wanting more.

Jinyoung dived in for another taste of the older's lips. Biting on his lip, he plunged his tongue forward and inside Jaebum's warm mouth. 

Their hands roamed around each other's body. His hand marveled along Jaebum's wide chest while the other's hand travelled along his happy trail.

He's wearing a short and Jaebum is tugging at it, trying to pull it down. But he still needs to undo his zipper so he did his boyfriend a favor and zipped his short open. 

"God, I missed you so much." Jaebum's hand found what it's looking for. He touched his length which made Jinyoung moan. "Fck. Alright" The younger said, continuing to kiss the other.

But then, there's someone banging on the door again.

 

"Hyung!" This time it's Bambam. Jinyoung could only groan, as Jaebum rolled his eyes in irritation. 

"Hyung!" Bambam calls out again. "Mark hyung said he needs to talk to you about something important!"

"I'll go in a bit! Just tell him to wait!" Jinyoung's patience is almost running out.

He's an ordinary man. A man with needs. And now he's about to get his fill, they'll keep on interrupting?

 

Jinyoung turned to an annoyed Jaebum. "Hon, I'm sorry bout that." 

Jaebum blew out a long sigh before pulling him in again for another kiss. Then his hands went back to its business, touching Jinyoung's crotch. "You're so hard." Jinyoung smirked through their kiss. "All for you, babe. All for you."

His hand also made its way to Jaebum's. He's wearing sweatpants, only making it easier for Jinyoung to feel his erection. Unsatisfied, Jinyoung tugged his sweatpants down, enough to reveal his manhood in all its naked glory. Without breaking the kiss, Jinyoung wrapped his hand on Jaebum's making the other arch his back.

"Oh fck." Jaebum hissed. "I need you. Inside me, now." The older said tugging at the waistband of his boxer.

Why is he wearing too many clothes anyway? It's only delaying them both.

Jinyoung cannot contain his self control anymore, and was aching to be inside his boyfriend now. But expectedly, there goes the knocking.

 

"Jinyoung hyung!" Yugyeom calls out.

"Oh fcking forget it. I'm done." Jaebun said pushing him off and rolling on his side to get his shirt.

"Hon..." he tried to say but Yugyeom's voice covered it.

"Jinyoung hyung! Mark hyung really needs to talk to you right now, he says!"

Jinyoung shut his eyes and inhaled, calming his self. "Hon, I'm-"

"Just go to Mark. And I'll just sleep. I lost my mood, anyway."

He sighed defeatedly as he fixed himself and wore his shirt. He stood up and looked at Jaebum again. "Okay then, goodnight hon." but he didn't answer.

He's disappointed, Jinyoung knows. And he understands because he feels just as same.

 

When Jinyoung went outside, he saw the other members sitting on the couch and watching a documentary. Something weird for them to watch, Jinyoung thinks.

He found Mark seated by the kitchen counter. 

"Were you sleeping?" Mark asked. He shook his head. They most certainly were not. 

Afterwards, Mark handed him a paper, where a song is written. He frowned. Couldn't this wait til tomorrow? 

"It's our new song. We'll practice it after tomorrow's show." Jinyoung just nodded. "Okay you can go take a rest now." He nodded again. "The guys and I are watching this documentary. We need to be quiet and focused on watching. You know what I mean?" Jinyoung, again just nodded. "So...there shouldn't be any noise..."

 

Though he's confused, Jinyoung only nodded again. "Okay then, Mark. I'll go now. Good night."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

The next morning, all of them ate the breakfast prepared by Youngjae and Bambam.

As usual, Jackson got Jaebum to talk about him and his relationship with Jinyoung. Yugyeom and Bambam seemed interested too.

Jinyoung was happy to see that Jaebum is making the effort to get to know his friends better. When he thinks of it, he can't help but hope that this time, Jaebum chooses to understand him. Maybe this time will be different.

 

"Wow. That is one beautifully written song."

Jinyoung watched as Jaebum conversed with Youngjae about his composed song.

It was around 3 in the afternoon when Jaebum received an emergency call from the hospital, telling him to go back to Korea.

The rest of the band finds it unfortunate that Jaebum only got to stay for a day with them. But they bid him goodbye.

 

They were at the airport. They were walking towards the boarding lounge when Jaebum spoke.

 

"So when will you fly back to Korea?"

Jaebum casually took his bag from Jinyoung and looked at the younger's eyes.

"I'll just go ahead now. But you'll be going back shortly after, right?"

He's still not answering.

"Maybe, a week? It will be enough, I think. Then you should head back home. And then you should assume your position in the company."

"Why is this all so sudden?" Jinyoung frowned.

"Sudden?" Jaebum almost scoffed. "This has been the plan, isn't it? You, taking over the company. That's the plan, Jinyoung. You just went here to take a break and you happened to join this band, but that doesn't change anything. It shouldn't."

Now Jinyoung's brows are knitted. He's trying to digest what Jaebum is saying. 

"Come on. You seriously didn't think you could stay here in that band of yours forever. Do you?"

"But... You watched. You saw how I love performing."

"Yes I did." Jaebum was quick to answer. "But it's not what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to waste your time on a small band, playing here and there with no specific and certain direction in life? Jinyoung, you have so much more ahead of you. This is just nothing."

 

_Nothing?_ How could he consider his dream as nothing?

 

"Singing in a band is not a future." Jaebum said. "In a few years, your band might be gone and it doesn't guarantee security for any of you guys. Will you be that stupid to throw this chance that your dad is giving you, just to sing in a band?"

Those words stayed in Jinyoung's mind. And how Jaebum said it, with what seems to be disgust and mockery. 

 

"You still refuse to understand." 

Jaebum frowned at him. "Understand what? This silly dream of yours?"

"You don't understand." He repeated. 

Jaebum gaped at him. "It's me whom you dont understand, you are not-"

"It is me!" Jinyoung said in a louder voice. "It is me whom you never understand. You keep saying that you love me but you can't even try to understand me. It's always you who talks. It's always you who says the right things. It's always you who decide. This is the kind of relationship I was in for the past four years. Is this how it's still going to be in a longer run?"

It all came out to suddenly. Jinyoung can't contain his thoughts anymore. He thinks he'll explode.

"Were you not happy?" was all Jaebum can ask.

"I dont know, Jaebum. It's been always like this. I always do what you want. What you say is right. What you say I should do." He stared at him. "But doesn't love come with support and understanding? And without one, love will fail."

 

They were both engulfed with silence. It's the first time that Jinyoung voiced out his feelings. He's always the one to listen. But now he needs to talk.

He wants Jaebum to understand him. He needs Jaebum to understand him. 

 

"And this love we have is just like one... a failure?" Jaebum looked at him with sad eyes full of hurt. "If this is what it looks like to you, then we better end this."

Jinyoung felt cold.

 

"I love you enough to not want to give you failure." Jaebum said to him. "We should end this right now. Before I fail you even more."

"No...it's not..." horror filled his heart as Jaebum moved from his touch and gave him a cold stare.

 

"What?!" He spatted. "You already made your decision. It's time for me to make mine."

 

And as Jaebum walked away from him, Jinyoung felt his heart break into a million pieces.


	7. "Can't"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up! This contains mature content. Hehehehehe. Now if you're up for it, then carry on...

**_Jinyoung_** hissed at Jackson who just woke him up. 

He didn't have enough sleep last night. Well maybe all of them haven't since Jinyoung refused to go home after their gig. It was already around 3am and the guys wanted to go home (and they need to) but Jinyoung was stubborn and kept on getting drinks.

He is not sure of how he was able to wake up here on bed, because the last thing he remembers was Mark taking the bottle of beer from his hand. He might've shouted at the drummer but he's too drunk to be sure.

 

"Yah! It's almost noon! You skipped breakfast, and now lunch too? Get your ass up and eat with us!"

Another hiss before Jinyoung managed to sit up. He rubbed his eyes and tried to look at Jackson. "I'm not hungry. You all go ahead and eat."

He saw how Jackson frowned at him. "How could you not be hungry? Come on, Jinyoung. Let's go eat." 

Jackson's voice is more toned down, and is laced with concern now. 

"Just go. I'm not hungry."

Jinyoung was about to lie down again when Jackson spoke.

 

"It's been a week. You seriously can't act like this forever, Jinyoung. You should-"

"You should just mind your own life, Jackson."

Jackson's words triggered him. He doesn't want to snap at him like that, but he couldn't help it. The wound is still fresh, and Jackson touching it is not helping.

Jackson just muttered a soft  _okay_  before leaving. 

"Fck." Jinyoung could only curse. He's been a jerk, he knows. But he doesn't know how to stop.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

It was 2:30 in the afternoon when Jinyoung finally got up. 

As he wore his slippers, his stomach growled. Figures. He missed two meals, of course he'll be hungry. Jinyoung hates his stubborn self sometimes.

Finally leaving the bed, he made his way outside the room. It was quiet. 

Jinyoung headed towards the kitchen to do something about his growling stomach. But before he could open the refrigerator, he saw a note posted on it.

 

_Food is inside. Just heat them up in the microwave or something. The guys all went out. Don't be stubborn and EAT._

_\- Mark_

 

Jinyoung took the note after reading it. He stared at the closed door of Mark's room.  _He didn't left?_ He was wondering.

He opened the fridge and saw what food was Mark pertaining to in his note. Jinyoung saw a plate of galbi, a bowl of bean sprout rice and radish strip kimchi. Seems the guys really had a full breakfast. A part of Jinyoung regrets not joining them. He also saw a plate with waffle, and he immediately thought of Mark. When the drummer makes waffles, he always give the younger some.

 

While Jinyoung was reheating the food in the microwave oven, he stared again at Mark's bedroom door.  _Is he inside?_

Standing up, he decided to check. He walked towards the closed door but stopped midway of knocking. He doesn't know why but something stopped him. Maybe he felt shy? After how he acted for the whole week? Even he can't face Jackson.

Mark is not an exception too. If this was before, the drummer probably had thrown him out already. But the whole time he was acting like a complete shit, Mark was patient, he can say that, not once did he shouted at the younger or forced him to get his shit together. 

Actually, all of them were. Even those who are younger than him. They tried to understand Jinyoung. But there's something about Mark which picks his guilt. From being an asshole, Mark became nice to him. And now, he's the one turning into an asshole? 

With a sigh, he dropped his hand and went back to the kitchen.

_Maybe some other time, but not now._

 

_•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•_

 

Before leaving the bedroom, Jinyoung could hear the guys talking and laughing. They're eating breakfast, he assumes. It's only 8am. Jinyoung woke up early purposely. 

Maybe Jackson is right. A week of grief and self pity is enough already. It doesn't mean he'll move on, but he'll just try to move at least. His heart is still aching for Jaebum and how he misses him, but he still have these guys. And he needs to act right if he doesn't want the band to suffer. One week of his shitty music is also enough. He needs to get his mind straight.

With slippers on, he walked outside. He could still hear Jackson and Bambam's bickering. But when he reached the kitchen, there was an abrupt silence and now the guys are just staring at him.

No one spoke and moved, until Mark hit Jackson's forehead with a fork.

"Why me? It's this red head." the bassist pointed at Bambam who is busy stuffinv his mouth with rice.

 

They kept on exchanging looks that Jinyoung decided to speak. "Uhm. Good morning."

"Hyung, we're sorry to wake you up with our noise." Youngjae started.

"No, it's okay. I was hungry anyway." 

With that, the four guys scrambled to get him a plate and put food on it. And it made Jinyoung felt guiltier. These guys don't deserve his shits. 

Mark cleared his throat that it caught his attention. "Come and sit with us. These guys missed you."

Jinyoung could just purse his lips, in an attempt to hide his smile. Mark, morning and breakfast is a good concept. His uncombed brown hair only makes it better.

"Are you excluding yourself, Tuan?" Jackson said as he nudged the drummer by his shoulder which then the latter just rolled his eyes. "But Jinyoung, we're glad to have you at breakfast again!"

This time Jinyoung really did smile before sitting on the stool beside Youngjae.

When he looked in front of him, Mark is smiling.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"You sure you don't want to go with us?" 

If he's not mistaken, this will be the fifth time that Jackson is asking him about the same thing.

The four of them, including Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom agreed to go bowling for the afternoon. Their next gig is not until this weekend. So the guys are making the most out of their free time.

He sat on the bed before looking at Jackson and answering. 

"Yes, I am sure. I'm just gonna stay here and do something else. I'm too tired to go anywhere."

Jackson feigned a shock. "What?! You're tired of doing what?" but in the end he just sighed frustratedly, giving up on making Jinyoung join. "Alright, then. I'll go ahead. And you..." he gave the younger a serious look. "Try not to kill yourself."

Jinyoung gave him an incredulous look before nodding. This guy. He maybe hurt but he has no suicidal tendencies. 

When the bassist left, Jinyoung decided to take a shower.

 

It was around 3pm when he went out of his room, and head towards the living room. He turned the television on but a couple of channels later, he turned it off again. 

He sat back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He then remembered how he used to call Jaebum during this hour, because it's morning in Korea and often times, he calls to wake him up, but turns out, he's already awake.

Jinyoung looked at his phone. He really wants to call him. But can he? Should he?

He sighed and just ruffled his hair. His eyes darted at the piano. So he walked towards it. Music has always been his passion. Not only that. It detaches him from the life he was forced on living. When things are going out of hand and seem to choke him, it is where he runs to. Music. It's just depressing to think that those people whom he loves fail to realize that.

Jinyoung sat at the stool and pressed his fingers on the keys. 

He remembers when he was a small kid, and his mom was still there with him. She supported him and how he loves music. He misses his mom.

 

He then stopped on playing and got his notepad from his room. Maybe he could write again. He'll try.

He started with the melody. And then with the words. But he feels like it's lacking. His mind is still not working at its best.

Jinyoung might've pressed the last keys too hard, as he grunted and covered his face with his arms.  _I love you enough to not want to give you a failure..._ Jaebum's words kept on ringing on his head.  _We should_ _end this right now. Before I fail you even more._

Jinyoung was still sulking when he heard someone speak beside him.

"Okay. That's it."

He looked up and saw Mark who has his arms crossed. "Oh, Mark. Did I... Uh... I'm sorry if I..."

"I have to do something about this." Mark stared at him. "Fix yourself. We'll be leaving in 5 minutes."

 

It was a twenty minute drive. And no matter how many times Jinyoung asked Mark where they're headed to, the drummer just won't talk to him. But when he saw the vast deep set orange swallowing the whole of the ocean, he stopped thinking.

"Come on." Mark said as he opened the cardoor. Now Jinyoung is confused.

"Did you take me here to go swimming?" hell, was he not prepared. The guy could've told him.

Mark scoffed. "Do I look like I want to go swimming?" But before Jinyoung could ask, he's talking again. "Just get out of the car and follow me, will you?"

The drummer seemed impatient and Jinyoung feared of seeing the  _I'll make your life hell_  Mark again so he just did what he was told.

 

He breathed in the warm fresh air as he walked alongside the drummer. Mark has his hands in his pocket. Jinyoung kept his behind his back. They were walking for about five minutes when Mark turned towards him.

"Go and say what you got to say. No one will pay attention. Just let it all out."

At first Jinyoung was a bit surprised by what the older said, and how he said it. But Mark gave him the kind of look which tells him he is serious. So he opted to ask.

"Why?"

"Why?" Mark repeated through knitted brows. "You haven't spoken a word to us about what happened a week ago. But we can all see how it has affected you. You may say that we don't know you very well, and you don't know us very well too but right now, we are all you have. You are bottling everything inside you. And I'm not one to sit back and watch until you explode into pieces, Jinyoung." 

Jinyoung saw how Mark's shoulders went up and down as he breathed.

"So, go on. Shout it all out. Everything that you're feeling. Those things inside your head, let it all out for once. No one will listen." He saw Mark's eyes as they glistened. "But I am here."

And as if those words were all that he needed, Jinyoung balled his hands into a fist and faced the wide ocean.

 

"YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!!!" He shouted, with eyes closed. "Jaebum, you are so unfair!!!"

Yet again, he felt his heart clenching through every word that he's saying. All the pain that he kept to himself, they are all pouring.

"All I wanted was for you to understand and accept me for who I am and what I want. WAS THAT SO HARD? You said you love me but you don't! You don't, okay?!" Hot tears were shedding on his cheeks. But he just let them be. He needed this. He needs this release.

"You were the only one I trusted and love. But why did you leave me like that? I love you so damn much, Jaebum!" He fell on his knees as he held his hands near his chest. "I love you so much and I don't know what to do anymore. Why can't you understand? Why can't you accept me? Why can't you stay..."

His tears betrayed him. His voice did too. He cried and cried hoping that after this, the pain would be gone.

But then he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him. And a soft  _It's okay, it's going to be okay_  was all he heard. And somehow, it soothed his feeling. 

It could've been the ocean. Or the warm breeze. 

Or maybe Mark's presence.

Which of those, he's not sure. But he knows somehow, it made him feel better.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

_"Going back to the corner where I first saw you_  
    _Gonna_ _camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move_  
 _Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand_  
 _Saying, 'if you see this girl can you tell her where I am?'"_

 

Jinyoung is playing his song on the piano and the rest were listening.

 

_"Some try to hand me money, they don't understand_  
      _I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man_  
 _I know it makes no sense but what else can I do_  
 _How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?"_

 

He sang, completely immersed in the melody he is playing.

 

_"Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
        _And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be_  
 _Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet_  
 _And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street_  
      _So I'm not moving, I'm not moving.."_

 

Jinyoung ended the song waited for his bandmates' feedbacks about it. Jackson was first to speak.

"So this is a song about your stupidity?" He was ready to react but Jackson dismissed it. "It's a good song but I don't like the message especially since you're singing it."

Jinyoung looked at the others for a different reaction.

"I like it hyung." Youngjae said. "I really felt what you're saying through your song."

Jinyoung smiled. He's happy with what Youngjae said.

"But is it finished, though?" Yugyeom asked. "It would be better if you finish it, hyung."

 

So for the rest of the day, Jinyoung worked on the rest of the lyrics. But his mind won't cooperate. It was around 5 in the afternoon and he already had three cups of coffee but he still ain't done.

He grunted as he slumped on top of the piano. He's tired.

"Can I see what you've written so far?" Mark suddenly said beside him.

He lifted his face and handed Mark his notepad. "Nothing good. My mind is wasted."

After handing him back his notepad, Mark tapped his shoulder. "Alright then, let's go."

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at the older. "Are you taking me to the beach again? Cause I'm telling you, shouting is not good for me since we have gigs for the entire week."

Mark then sneered at him. "No. I won't. And I don't use the same method twice."

 

Ten minutes later, Jinyoung found himself frowning at Mark. "Tell me why are we in a mart?"

Mark got a pushcart and Jinyoung just followed. Mark just took him to grocery shopping. Yes, he did.

The drummer took out a sheet of paper where he presumed the list of groceries were written. "Well, you were having a hard time finishing your song. And Jackson said that going to groceries helps relieve one's mind."

To this, Jinyoung snorted. He can't believe this guy. "Really Mark? I can't believe you let Jackson trick you into buying groceries."

"What...he..." 

And Jinyoung could only laugh at Mark's confused face. He finds it funny. How he was deceived by Jackson. But he stopped upon seeing how Mark is looking at him.

"Keep that." Mark says. Just keep doing that. Don't lose that smile."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung was able to finish his song and after a week, they performed it in one of their shows.

That night, the six of them decided to head home earlier than the usual. Just a couple of drinks and then they're off.

Yugyeom and Bambam are already drunk so by the time they all arrived at the apartment, Mark was complaining about the two making out in his car. He's also left dumbfounded by the obvious fact that the two has something going on between them.  _Nightmare_ was how Mark saw it. And Jinyoung is just thankful that he hasn't seen those two in action.

 

It was around 4am when Jinyoung felt like he needed a drink so he get up from bed and decided to go to the kitchen. But before he could, he saw Mark who is standing outside the veranda. He's just there, looking peaceful as he gazed at the busy street.

Without second thoughts, Jinyoung made his way towards the older.

He didn't say anything. He just nudged Mark's shoulder and that's good enough for a greeting. When he looked at the drummer over his shoulder, only then did he see that Mark was drinking.

 

"Not inviting me, I see." Jinyoung said as a joke. But maybe Mark took it seriously, he handed him a bottle. Mark has three and is already on his second drink. "Thanks." he just said after getting the bottle.

"Your song was really good." Mark stated. "The fans loved it. Such feels in one song."

Jinyoung shrugged. "I did lay my heart out on that song."

"It speaks so much." Mark added after gulping down his drink. "You really love Jaebum, don't you?" But it doesn't seem like Mark is waiting for his answer. With another gulp, he faced the nightsky. "Whoever is it who created that one great love shit, well fck him. Why does it have to exist? And why does it have to be true?"

Jinyoung frowned at Mark. Is he talking about Jaebum? Does he thing he's stupid too? Just like Jackson?

 

"When you loved someone a great deal, is it really impossible to forget that someone, and to get over your love for him?" Jinyoung didn't answer and stared at Mark's face instead. He's starting to enjoy seeing how the city lightd reflected on the drummer's face. 

"You know what is funny? I've made my heart as cold as stone. Just so I can protect myself. Just so I could stop hurting. Because… because when he left? I lost myself. I almost died, Jinyoung. My love for him nearly killed me. I gave him my everything. Everything. I didn't leave anything for myself. Now that’s what’s shitty."

Now Jinyoung knew this is not about him. Or Jaebum. It's about Mark. And his ex, is it Jinwoo? If he remembers correctly. He stared at Mark's face. He could almost hear his voice break.

"I hated him. I hated him so much for leaving me. I managed to cover up all the pain with numbness and coldness. But the shittier things is, I only covered up the pain. But not my love for him." Jinyoung watched as a tear fell from Mark's eyes. "I just thought I did. But I didn't. Now I am starting to doubt if I really stopped loving him. Because it really kinda feels like I didn't."

Jinyoung just listened as Mark talked through slurred words. But when Mark finished his drink, he asked the older to go back to his room already. Of course Mark didn't agree at first, insisting that he is not drunk, but Jinyoung is not dumb to believe it. With one last tug, he's able to walk Mark towards his bedroom.

By the time they reached Mark's bed, the drummer is already whining on how life is unfair. Jinyoung just said  _"It's okay. It's gonna be okay."_ Just like what Mark told him that day on the beach.

Jinyoung took off Mark's shoes while the older is sitting on his bed. 

"Jinyoung." Mark called him. "Jinyoung." then again. "Jinyoung."

Jinyoung looked up at the older. "Mark, just go to sleep. Tomorrow you'll be fine. I'll go ahead now."

 

But Mark's hand was quick to grab his. Slowly, Mark stood up and now is face to face with him. Jinyoung could hear Mark's heavy breathing. He then felt the older's hand on his cheek. And before he could say anything, Mark's lips crashed onto his.

Those soft lips were enough to drown his thoughts. His mind is in a blur. All he thinks is how it feels so right to be kissing Mark right now. But it ended abruptly.

Now Mark is staring at him, all drunkenness gone. Jinyoung saw how Mark hesitated before speaking. "I...I'm sorry." Is that all he'd say? "I'm sorry .I shouldn't have-"

Maybe it's because of the beer he drank. Or how he hated hearing a sorry from Mark. But what Jinyoung did also surprised him.

 

He pulled Mark in for another kiss. A deeper one. His lips trying to find that same feeling again. And he didn't fail as soon as Mark kissed him back. Their lips were in a perfect sync, both searching for something he doesn't know. 

Jinyoung walked them both towards the bed and made Mark lay down. All his senses flew out when he felt Mark's tongue inside his mouth. He willingly returned the favor, exploring the other's mouth. He tasted of mint and beer, only then did he learn it's a good combination. 

As soon as Mark is properly laid on the bed, Jinyoung pressed his weight slighty on the drummer. With his one hand supporting his weight and the other travelling south. Mark's hand also does wonders on his body. He managed to tug his shirt off. And is now holding on his waistband.

"Wait." Jinyoung mumbled through their kiss. Mark was confused as the younger stood and got something from the drawer. When he came back, he's holding the bottle of lube. 

Positioning him self on top of Mark again, he started kissing the drummer's jaw, down to his neck which elicited moans from the other. "Fck, Jinyoung." The younger could only smirk as his hand went to unbuckle Mark's belt. With a swift move, he's able to take off Mark's pants. "Fuck!" Mark whined as he struggled to do the same with him.

"I'll do it." Jinyoung said to pacify the older. And once he did, Mark latched on his lips again.

Jinyoung pulled Mark's boxers off, exposing him completely. How his member reacted upon seeing Mark's. Which Mark didn't let the chance pass and touched his aching crotch.

"Sht. Okay." He mumbled as he stroked Mark's erection. "Is this okay?"

"Fck. More. Than. Okay." Mark moaned against Jinyoung's neck. "Get inside me now."

Following his order, Jinyoung looked for Mark's entrance. His fingers grabbed on some lube and proceeded to Mark's hole. "Oh fck shit." But Jinyoung continued torturing him, stretching him out.

Frustratedly, Mark grabbed on Jinyoung's cock and stroked him up and down. "Fck you're hard." Mark whispered. "Please, inside. Me. Now."

Jinyoung kissed him once again. "Patience." Now Mark felt three fingers inside him. Jinyoung has the courtesy to stretch him out properly but here he is begging to be fcked already. He moved his hips to the same rhythm Jinyoung was doing with his fingers that when they left, he felt empty. But only to be filled again when he felt Jinyoung's cock near his hole. 

"Fck. I want you." Mark said, almost pleading. "Please."

With one last kiss. "Okay, you'll have me." Jinyoung thrusted inside him, slowly at first but once finding the right angle, he thrusted faster. 

Mark can't do anything but bite his lips to prevent himself from being a moaning mess. But Jinyoung kept on thrusting on the right spot, it makes him crazy. His nails dug down on the younger's back.

"That's it. Fck. Alright." 

Mark matched Jinyoung's pace with his hips. And soon after he was being filled to his brim. Jinyoung also didn't stop on stroking him, mercilessly. But he ain't complaining. "God, I'm close. Don't stop."

Jinyoung's mouth left wet kisses on his shoulders. "No I won't. I can't." With a final thrust, Mark felt his world collapsing, and his knees shaking.

Jinyoung laid on his chest, with sweat dripping on his forehead. "Fck" was all the younger could say as he rolled to his side.

Jinyoung stared at Mark who is staring at the ceiling. His face is lit by the city lights outside the window. When did he start enjoying this view?

 

There was a minute of silence before Jinyoung spoke. "Uhm, Mark-"

"Let's just forget about this."

Mark's words had him stunned.  _Forget?_ He's telling him to forget what just happened? Was it because he was just drunk? Was he?

"No, Mark-"

But he's interrupted by Mark's bitter laugh. "Come on! This is not our first time. We are both consenting adults and it just happened. Let's just forget it."

Mark sat up on the bed and started to get dressed. Jinyoung could only watch. 

Can he forget? What took over him? Was it just lust? Is that really it? Why does it feel like it isn't? He grabbed on Mark's hand before the older could stand up.

But before he could talk, Mark beat him up to it. "Don't say sorry." He said. "I do this kind of things. This is not new to me. Okay? Now if this is, to you..because of Jaebum...then I'm the one who should say sorry. But I promise, I won't tell."

Mark then stood up, finally breaking free of his grasp. 

 

"I hope this won't change anything between us, more so with the band. We have a gig tomorrow. Don't miss."

Mark was gone, leaving him speechless. 

 

All that runs in his head were Mark's words. Because of Jaebum? 

_But I'm not with him anymore._ He thought.


	8. "Like This"

"Hey, where's Mark?" is the first question  ** _Jinyoung_** heard as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom. 

 

_Let's just forget about this._ Mark's words repeated on his mind. After Mark left, Jinyoung spent the next thirty minutes staring at the ceiling of the drummer's room. He's still thinking how it happened and how he let it happen. After realizing nothing, he went to the kitchen to drink water with the hope of clearing his clouded mind. He then stayed in the living room, until around 6am and just went back to his shared room with Jackson to take a shower.

 

"I don't know." Jinyoung chose to answer. He is telling the truth. He really doesn't know where Mark went after what happened.

"But...weren't you with him?" Jackson asked which made Jinyoung crease his forehead.  _How did he know?_  "I thought I heard you and Mark outside..."  _He did?_ "But, maybe I was drunk. So...you don't know where Mark is?"

Another shrug before Jackson gave up on asking and left him in their room.

 

Jinyoung just sighed as he dried his hair with his towel. Last night was a blur. Not because he can't remember it, cause quite frankly, he doesn't think he can forget it. It is a blur because he couldn't quite catch what happened after. Why Mark disregarded things like that. Why Mark left.

He briefly closed his eyes tight, before giving out a deep breath. He needs to talk to him. But will Mark let him?

 

That morning, Youngjae was in charge of cooking breakfast. He prepared a ham and egg rice. He said it's all he could make because he's too lazy.

The younger ones kept on complaining. Bambam then declared that from now on, he's in charge of cooking a  _proper_ breakfast.

 

"Hey Jackson hyung! Did you wake Mark hyung already?" Youngjae asked as he took off his apron. 

"He's not in his room. I checked." Jackson answered before stuffing his mouth with rice. 

"Where could he possibly be? He's never awake this early!" and Bambam is right. For almost three months of living with the guys, Jinyoung knows Mark is not exactly a morning person. He for one is also not. But Mark leaving early in the morning is really unusual. 

 

"I thought he'll be sleeping this entire morning." The guys turned to the youngest who is speaking. "I may have heard these noises from inside of his room while I was getting water from the kitchen. And I assumed that maybe he'll be tired after." Yugyeom continued.

"But Mark didn't bring any guy home last night. We all went together, remember? You two even had a make out session in Mark's car!" Jackson said pointing at the two youngest which made Bambam blush.

"Yah! Don't bring that up again. It's too embarrassing. And we still need to talk to Mark hyung about that."

"You should." Jackson said, still laughing at the red haired.

"But I really heard it. You all know how it sounds. And Mark hyung isn't exactly the quiet type. You all know that." Yugyeom's words made Jinyoung shift on his seat. He wish he could make him shut up but that would be rude, not to mention weird.

"But we all know too, that he didn't bring anyone with him last night. And besides..." Jackson turned to Youngjae who is eating silently. "Youngjae should've heard it, since his room is beside Mark's. Have you heard something, Youngjae?"

 

Jinyoung is not quite sure how to be calm anymore. Knowing that Yugyeom heard them is enough to make him nervous. And he's right, Mark isn't really the quiet type. Now if Yugyeom heard it, then it's no doubt Youngjae also heard them. All those skin slapping, whimpers and moans. How Mark repeatedly called his name. Fck. He's screwed.

Jinyoung kept his head down, not wanting to look at the younger until he answered.

"No."  _What? No?_ "I am not really sure but, I wasn't disturbed by any kind of noise."  _He didn't?_ Jinyoung finds it odd. But, at least he's safe. The guys won't know about what happened between him and Mark.

"See??!!!" Jackson's loud voice resounded in the kitchen. "Shut up, Gyeom. You're drunk!"

The two kept on bickering, with Bambam trying to shush them both up. While Jinyoung, well he is now staring at Youngjae who is still eating. The younger then gave him a short glance and smiled. 

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

They were all in the studio rehearsing their set of songs for tonight's show. 

They've been playing for about an hour now but Mark is still missing in action.

"It doesn't sound right without Mark hyung." Yugyeom said after sitting on the couch. Bambam threw a towel on his face which the younger used to wipe his sweat off. 

It's true. Jinyoung finds it a bit hard to sing without the beat of the drums. And he can't also focus on just singing, because he keeps on thinking of Mark's whereabouts. He hasn't returned and it's almost 4pm already. 

"Don't tell me he's fucking around this early?" Jackson talked. "Can't he wait until later night?"

Jinyoung doesn't feel like listening so he stood up and walked his way to the break room.

 

As he was making himself some coffee, Jinyoung thinks back of what happened a few days ago. How nice Mark was to him. That day when he took him to the beach and made him shout all his frustrations. How Mark held him after, telling that things are going to be okay. How Mark made him feel that he's there, ready to listen to him. How Mark looked at him with those eyes.

Were those just nothing? Is he like that to anyone? Was he that caring? 

And that night, when Mark kissed him. He made the first move, didn't he? He was ready to leave but Mark held him and crashed his lips onto his. Why did he do that? What was he thinking? Is that how he really is? Kissing and fcking anyone? Was he the one at fault, because he let it happen. He could've stopped, right? But he didn't. Now, why didn't he? 

"Shit." Jinyoung hissed as he pulled his hair frustratedly. His mind is too messed up.

 

"Are you okay, hyung?" Youngjae's voice beside him startled Jinyoung. The younger is also making coffee.

"Huh?" 

The younger smiled at his expression. "You don't seem fine, that's why I asked." Youngjae stared at his face. "You look tired. And ...troubled, I think?"

He averted his eyes from the younger. "Yeah. I am fine." Jinyoung answered before sipping on his coffee. But the stupid him forgot that it's still hot. "Ouch, shit."

Youngjae was quick to help him out, handing him a tissue. "It's hot hyung, be careful." 

Jinyoung hissed at himself. He wants to blame Mark for clouding up his mind. 

 

"He's really hard to spell out." Youngjae said while sipping on his own coffee. "He's always been like that. Distant, and cold. And lonely."

Without even asking, Jinyoung is sure who  _he_ is. He's just wondering why Youngjae is talking about him. Why all of a sudden?

"Ever since I met hyung, I know there's something he's been keeping inside him. He rarely smiles. He has this gigantic wall around him. Not letting anyone take an easy way in."

Now, Youngjae is looking at him. "But since you became part of the band, slowly, bit by bit he's changing. In some way." the younger shrugged. "I cannot point it out exactly but... he's smiling nowadays. And he spends more time with us. I know you also noticed that, correct?"

Jinyoung wasn't able to answer. But he knows he agrees to what Youngjae is saying. 

"With you around, his gigantic wall is slowly breaking. Letting us see the real him. Not the cold Mark, not the distant Mark, but the real Mark." Youngjae put his mug down and stared at him once again. "I know that you had your heart broken hyung. And Mark hyung had his also." the younger reached for his hand. "But maybe, just maybe... two broken hearts can find a way to fix each other and be whole again."

 

 

It was a quarter after four when Mark finally decided to show up. Amongst all the complaints he heard, Jackson was the only one brave enough to voice his to Mark. He complained five minutes straight about how late Mark was. But of course, the drummer ignored everything.

"Ten minute break, everyone?" Mark said after a run of their songs.

Jackson frowned. "We've had enough breaks waiting for your ass."

"Just shut it, Jackson." Mark said sitting down on the couch. Jinyoung watched the older as he does something on his phone.

Remembering what Youngjae has said to him in the break room, Jinyoung mustered up his courage and walked towards Mark's direction. But before he could even sit down, the drummer already stood up, putting his phone on the side table. 

"I'll just go out for a smoke. Okay, guys? I'll be back."

 

Now what was that? It isn't obvious that Mark was avoiding him.  _Really isn't._ Jinyoung sighed as he sat on the spot Mark left.  _"I hope this won't change anything between us"_ , he said. Then what's with the avoidance?

Is Mark fucking with him? 

Jinyoung heaved a sigh. Then, he saw Mark's phone screen lighting up. He looked at it and saw that there's an incoming call.  _Ivan calling..._ He read the i.d. 

Who is this Ivan? Was Mark really fucking around the whole day as Jackson said? And why does his blood feels like boiling?

Without any second thoughts, Jinyoung rejected the call. He slumped back on the couch, giving out a sigh. This time, an angry one.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Hey!" 

Jinyoung ignored Mark and continued on tugging the older's hand as they walked through the crowd.

 

They just finished the night's show. It was a good one, just like the other shows. But Jinyoung's mind is elsewhere.

As soon as they finished their song, Mark again was nowhere to be found. Only the five of them were seated on their usual booth. As usual, Jackson is calling out for drinks, Yugyeom and Bambam are flirting, and Youngjae is already busy with his game. 

This would've been normal if this was months ago. He wouldn't have wondered where Mark was. But for the same reason, Jinyoung felt uncomfortable. Because he thinks he know where Mark is, and what he is doing.

And he's right. But for the first time, he isn't happy to be right.

 

"Hey, would you let go of me?" Mark again shouted while trying to break free of the younger's grasp. "I said let go of me, Jinyoung!"

But he is stubborn. He didn't let go until they were out of the club and in the parking lot.

 

When he turned, Mark's cheeks were red, maybe because of the alcohol, and because he's fuming mad. But Jinyoung ain't scared. Oh, he's mad also.

 

"What are you doing?" Mark asked while rubbing his wrist. "What's your problem?"

Now he's asking him what his problem is? 

Jinyoung cocked his head to one side as he scoffed. "My problem?" He let out a forced laugh. "It's you who said that things shouldn't change between us. Even after what happened, right? But what were you doing?" He asked, emphasizing each word.

He saw how Mark's forehead creased as is he was asked a stupid question. "I was kissing someone."

Yeah right he was. And he really answered?  _Fck._ Jinyoung can feel his blood rushing to his face. Mark sure knows how to piss him off.

His hand flew to his hair as he combed it furiously. "After what happened last night?"

His question made the drummer scowl at him. Mark isn't pleased he could see that.

 

"I thought I made myself clear? What happened, happened. It's done and over with. Now, excuse me. You're ruining my night."

And where is he going? Back to the guy he was kissing? The thought drove Jinyoung crazy.

Crazy enough to do the next thing he did. He brought his arm up to trap Mark in between his arms. This got Mark caught off guard.

"You can't go back. I won't let you." He said firmly.

With this, Mark's eyes turned from surprised to annoyed, and now, angry. The drummer glared at him while speaking.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think just because of what happened, you now have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do, huh?" His eyes were still full of anger. "It's just one night, Jinyoung. And I swear to god, it won't happen again!" Then he's gone.

 

Jinyoung could only shout and kick the wall. Why is Mark like that? 

Why is it so hard to understand him?

 

But why does it seem like he's far from giving up?

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

He is now on his third cup of coffee.

 

Everyone else is peacefully sleeping after a long night. But Jinyoung is still wide awake, waiting for Mark.

He didn't go home with them. He stayed in the club. Jinyoung didn't want to go either, but Jackson won't let him stay .Of course they need him and his car.

 

Now, he can't sleep. All he's getting are thoughts of Mark kissing some guy. He imagines the guy doing the same things he did with Mark and it's enough to shake him up. 

Now he's waiting for Mark. He wanted to drink beer but he doesn't like to be drunk by the time Mark reaches home. What if he's with someone, and Jinyoung is too drunk to stop himself from punching the guy? He needs to be sober. 

If he's lucky, Mark might be alone and he may finally talk to him. So he shouldn't be drunk.

 

He's about to make himself his fourth cup of coffee when the door clicked open. He checked the time. It's 3:25 am. Wow. He's been awake this long?

Jinyoung held his breath as he waited for Mark in the kitchen. He felt relief wash through him when he saw that Mark is alone. He knows Mark saw his smile, he cannot hide it. 

Mark rolled his eyes at him, completely ignoring his presence and headed straight to the fridge to drink water. 

 

"Why are you...alone?" he just needed to ask.

With that, Mark glared at him. Those eyes could kill really. But Jinyoung doesn't care.

The drummer finished drinking and closed the fridge before answering. "After you acted like an asshole, now you're asking me?"

Mark is pissed. He can see that. But it doesn't bother him at all. He's just glad that he didn't bring anyone home. He's glad to see that Mark won't be spending the night with some random guy like what he used to do before.

He's glad. And Mark may have seen it in his smile, making the drummer roll his eyes again. "You know what, fuck you."

Jinyoung might be crazy cause he just laughed at Mark. But he pulled him back right before the older could turn and leave.

 

"Do you really want to be with someone else?" He reached for Mark's hand. The older restrained but Jinyoung was quick enough to hold his hand. He took a step closer, until he's face to face with Mark. "And in case you forgot...I'm not with Jaebum anymore." It came out as a whisper.

Mark's eyes pierced through his and it's a foreign emotion. He's unsure of what he's getting from the drummer's eyes. But when Mark bit his lips, Jinyoung lost it. To hell with everything, he grabbed his hips, pulled him closer and kissed him.

 

Mark's lips were cold. He doesn't know why, but he kissed those tenderly. They felt so soft against his plump ones. It feels the same. Kissing him feels like the first time.

When he broke the kiss, Mark was gasping for air. He was too. But his eyes remained on the older. His eyes were dazed. But staring at those brown eyes is elating in some way. He learned to enjoy such a view.

"Jinyoung-" He hushed the other.

"I am not sure of what this is, Mark. But I'm ready to find out."

His hands cupped the drummer's face and his lips captured the other's. He's done thinking things through. He's done with thinking. All he knows is this moment right here is perfect. He doesn't want anything else.

He could just smile on Mark's lips as he felt the older's arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands settled on Mark's waist and pulled him up, making him sit on the kitchen counter. He stood in between of Mark's legs. 

Mark's tongue grazed the side of his lips, seeking for entrance and Jinyoung gladly gave in. His tongue also made its way inside Mark's warm mouth. "You taste like coffee." Mark breathed against his mouth. He smirked. "Yeah, I had three cups waiting for you." He also felt Mark's smile as he saw how the drummer's eyes wrinkled. 

Mark's hand is restless and keeps on going up and down his body, finally stopping on the hem of his shirt. "Wait, not yet." Jinyoung said breaking the kiss. Confused, Mark gave him a questioning look. "As much as I want to, doing this here in the kitchen is not safe. The guys might see." 

With a nod, Mark met his lips again, wrapping his legs on his waist in the process. Putting his hands on Mark's waist, Jinyoung started walking their way to Mark's bedroom. 

He didn't even bother to switch the lights on. Once inside, he went for the bed and laid Mark on it with care. Mark's hand is already inside his shirt, trailing on the side of his waist and on the whole of his chest. 

His one hand prevented him from putting all his weight on Mark. His free hand pushed Mark's shirt upwards. "I want this off, now." Mark then complied, sitting up slightly to allow Jinyoung to take off his shirt. After which, Mark also did the same to Jinyoung. "Don't be unfair." With a smirk, Jinyoung let him take his shirt off too.

His lips left Mark's and travelled to the drummer's jaw, down to his neck. He has such a long neck. Jinyoung can't decide if it's his favorite part or what. 

"Fck, Jinyoung. Just... fck." Mark's breathing was rugged and heavy. It's enough to make his member react. 

Jinyoung felt Mark's hand on his sweatpants. In one tug, Mark was able to expose him completely. And without missing a beat, his hand is now around his length. "Oh fucking shit. Take it easy." Jinyoung hissed as he felt Mark's hand tightening around him. 

"Don't tell me what to do." Stubborn Mark at his finest, started to stroke his hardening erection. "I do what I want and this is what I fucking want."

"Shit, Mark." Jinyoung threw his head back as Mark continued torturing him. He could hear the drummer's naughty laugh. With his remaining strength, he gripped on Mark's hand. "Stop or I'll come on your pants."

He saw Mark's grin and there's no sign of regret or anything. Jinyoung shook his head, holding back his own grin before looking at the older again. "Now it's my turn."

Jinyoung's hand went to unbuckle Mark's belt. He reminded his self to be patient in doing so. His need for Mark doubled after what the drummer did to him. Once he's done, he immediately pulled Mark's pants down, with his boxers. How Jinyoung's eyes lingered on Mark's crotch. Desire flooded inside him as his hands wrapped around Mark's length. The older could only curse at his doing. "Now you know how it feels." He murmured against Mark's ear.

His hands moved up and down, as Mark dug his nails on his back. "Fucking, shit. That's right." Mark's hoarse voice pushing him to his edge. Jinyoung rested his forehead against Mark's as he stroked him. Mark breathed against his neck, biting his shoulder. "I... I don't..." Mark mumbled. 

"What? What is it?" Jinyoung also breathed, quickening his pace.

"Fuck." Mark threw his head back, only to burry his face in Jinyoung's neck again. "I don't... I don't want... fuck... to... fuck... come just... fuck... come just y-yet..." Mark said through his shaky voice. 

Finally getting what Mark has said despite his curses, Jinyoung was kind enough to relieve Mark from his agony. His hands stopped moving, and resumed to kissing the older. "Just, wait here." He heard Mark's whine as he left him to reach on the side table. That's where he kept it last time. Opening the drawer, he got the bottle of lube. 

Mark pulled him impatiently before he could even get back in between his legs. Half of his attention is on Mark's tongue inside his mouth, and half is focused on applying some lube on his fingers. Properly positioning himself between Mark's legs, his hand finds Mark's hole. Mark moaned in his mouth, the moment his fingers touched him. He felt him stiffen, but he didn't stop. Instead, he inserted his finger inside him, making Mark squirm beneath him. "Shit, Jinyoung. Shit..." Jinyoung's lips didn't leave Mark's.

Another finger in, and Mark is cursing nonstop making it hard for Jinyoung to catch his lips. The younger just resorted to kissing his neck. Three fingers later and Mark's words are incomprehensible. All that Jinyoung could hear is  _fuck_ and  _shit_. And his name, how Mark moans his name out loud. It drives him even more crazier.

"Inside... in-inside me. P-please..." Mark begging for him to be inside the drummer is music to Jinyoung's ears. He's aching to be inside Mark also. But he needs to be stretched out. "Fck, Jinyoung. Just... j-just get... g-get inside me. Shit."

Withdrawing his fingers from Mark's hole, Jinyoung grabbed his and positioned it on Mark's entrance. "Don't tell me what to do." He said copying the older's words earlier. 

"Oh, fuck you." Mark hissed as he pulled him closer.

"But you're the one getting fucked here, babe." Mark's slap on his chest was weak, Jinyoung could only laugh. "I do what I want." In a second, he thrusted inside Mark. "And this is what I fucking want."

His thrust was slow and agonizing enough for the drummer. Jinyoung tried to find the right angle, thrusting deeper by the second. A few more thrusts and Mark is a moaning mess. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Jinyoung heard all kinds of  _fuck_ from Mark's beautiful mouth. He kissed the drummer's lips, to try to silence the older. He's too loud. But Jinyoung can't help but moan too.

"God, you feel so right, Mark." He whispered on his lips. "Fuck."

Jinyoung is considerate enough to take care of Mark's lonely crotch. Taking him by hand, Jinyoung stroked his length up and down as he thrusted faster, and deeper. Mark's hips didn't fail to meet his every thrust. And soon enough, they're both being filled to their brim.

"Shit, I'm close." Mark said and Jinyoung could also feel the same. "Fck. Me too." 

With one final thrust, Jinyoung met Mark's lips, letting out a long  _"fuck"_ as he did. 

 

Jinyoung slumped on Mark's chest, catching his breath. The drummer is doing the same, his hand resting on the younger's back. 

The room was filled with heavy breaths. Neither of them speaking. 

As Jinyoung rolled to his side, he stared at Mark who has his eyes closed. His brown hair sticking on his damp forehead. Without realizing it, Jinyoung's hand made its way to Mark's face and fixed his hair. It made the older open his eyes. And now he's staring at him.

For a brief moment, Jinyoung felt his hands go cold. He can't read Mark's eyes. And all he's thinking is, what if Mark tells him to forget what happened and leave again?

He's about to speak but Mark suddenly moved closer, and burried his face on his neck. Mark's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer.

"I'm sleepy." The older said.

Jinyoung's hand is still stuck in midair. He's collecting his thoughts. Did Mark just do that? He's cuddling with him? And why is that thought making him smile like an idiot?

He put his hand down slowly, and on Mark's shoulder. His other hand played with Mark's hair. He finds it so domestic. 

 

"I'm cold." Jinyoung quickly reached for the blanket and covered them both. Mark's aircondition must be set on high. He heard Mark's hum. 

"And did you just call me babe?" 

Jinyoung pulled back to look at Mark, but the drummer still has his eyes closed.

"I... I d-don't know..." with this, Mark hissed. 

Jinyoung waited for another word from the older but all he heard was silent breathing.  _Is he asleep?_ He checked and saw Mark still with his eyes closed.

His hand touched the older's cheek. Him not reacting, is enough to confirm that Mark really is sleeping. Jinyoung smiled.

 

Mark may seem a cold and distant person as what Youngjae said. But right now, all he's seeing is a soft Mark.

He looks so small, wrapped inside Jinyoung's arms. He smiled remembering Youngjae's words.  _Maybe... just maybe... two broken hearts can find a way to fix each other and be whole again._

 

Closing his eyes, Jinyoung pulled Mark even closer to his chest. It feels warm like this.

And maybe, it wouldn't be too much if he'll like to keep things like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this took so long. Anyway, guys. I'm so happy! I finally saw GOT7!!! They came here in Manila for the last leg of their tour and it was aawesoooome. Gosh. I even saw MarkJin flirting onstage. Gosh. 
> 
> Anyway. Thank you for waiting. Hope to see you in the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> a new one :))) hope you'll support. ^^


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